


Tattoo

by celmatesakiller



Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Car Accidents, College, Fluff, Frerard, Gay, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Ryden, brallon, friendships, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:43:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 22,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11790138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celmatesakiller/pseuds/celmatesakiller
Summary: *Published on Wattpad also*Josh, a purple haired boy, just moved into college. His roommate? A bit on the weird side. Josh still felt something different with him, though, that he never felt with anyone else.There was one thing that he wanted to know, though. About his roommates tattoos.[©2017 Copyright celmatesakiller]





	1. Prologue

18 year-old Joshua, or Josh, Dun, just having graduated high school, was finally moving from his parents home in Columbus, Ohio to a college in California, full ride scholarship thanks to his English work and music involvement. It was different for Josh. He never planned on going to college, he always hated the idea and just wanted to finish school and save some money before traveling for a while, but then he got a scholarship and decided 'hey! Why the heck not?' so here he now was. 

Josh never liked the idea of college. He didn't want to waste more countless years learning more stuff he didn't need to. That's what high school was for. He didn't understand college for the most part. 

19 year-old Tyler Joseph had been at college for barely two months. He didn't see the point, he had the same views as Josh, even though he didn't even know Josh existed, but stayed with it in hopes to get his dream job. Tyler also had gotten a scholarship, although it was for basketball which he played through high school and that had made him the schools most popular jock. In his free time, however, Tyler liked to write songs with happy tones but sad lyrics that showed his feelings of life. He battled his inner demons and most nights he felt a struggle to continue on. But he did. He never expected to live past 16 years-old, but here he was. 

Tyler knew he was getting a roommate soon, because the VP told him. He was worried about this. Tyler, although being the school jock, didn't have many friends through his childhood and teenage years and was bullied fairly often. Because of this, he couldn't help the thoughts running through his mind. What if his roommate judged him? What if they didn't accept his sexuality? Would they be afraid of Tyler? Would they even want to be seen with him? What would they think about his tattoos? Not many people here had tattoos. Aside from Tyler, maybe four other students had tattoos, most of them Tyler knew. 

Josh Dun had been assigned to room "194", which, to Josh's annoyance, was located on floor four. 

And the elevator was out of service. 

Josh knocked softly on the door, hoping it would be answered soon, because damn his bags were heavy, and having to carry them up four flights of stairs was not fun. 

The door opened to reveal a skinny, slightly taller, boy, with fluffy chocolate brown hair styled into a slight quiff, and soothing caramel brown eyes. 

Everything about this man was perfect. But Josh couldn't help but notice one thing that intrigued him. The boy had some rather interesting tattoos.


	2. Fairly Local

{this will be in Josh's POV unless otherwise stated}

As I stood there waiting for the door to open, seeing as I couldn't quiet reach my key from where I was, I couldn't help but start wondering what my roommate is like, and if they even started yet. 

What am I kidding. Of course they started. I am a couple months late but hey! I live in Columbus for crying out loud! Of course I was going to be late. 

As I was standing there and pondering over my existence, the door opened to reveal a, actually, a rather good looking guy. 

Those brown eyes though and the tattoos hot damn!

"Uh- hi?" I stuttered out. Great first impression am I right?

"Hey! You must be Josh. I'm Tyler. Oh god let me help you with those!" This Tyler guy exclaimed as he jumped forward and caught the box falling out of my reach. 

I was thankful for that. Otherwise, knowing my clumsiness, would have dropped it and risked hurting myself AND my poor snare drum.

I won't let anything ever touch my precious drums. My precious. 

"Uh- yea- uh- thanks.." I trailed off. Why did I always have to be so damn awkward. It was a curse. 

That's it! I'm cursed! It makes total sense. I had a curse out on me as a baby and- wait. 

I'm no sleeping beauty. 

I'm Josh frickin Dun!

Ok come on get it together I'm still standing in the doorway like a freak. 

I've always had conflicts in my head. Most of the time it was just stupid shit and if anyone could read minds, they would lock me up in a mental asylum. 

I grabbed a couple smaller boxes myself before walking in and setting them by the door. I sadly did have to take a few trips to get all the boxes in, with Tyler's help, since there were a lot (mainly my drums), before we both just collapsed onto the couch. 

I turned towards Tyler before talking- trying to sound as 'not lame' as I could. But let's face it. Tyler already saw how awkward I was. 

"So Tyler.. How long you been here?" I asked, managing to sound surprisingly calm. 

"I would say I have been here around maybe two months? I don't know I lose track of time easily." He laughed to himself while looking down as his lap. 

"Cool! I never imagined I would even come to college, let alone this far from home." I admitted, the last part a bit quieter then the rest. I really need to learn to stop being so damn shy and awkward. 

"Where do you come from?" Tyler asked, curiosity edging his features. 

"Ohio. More specifically Columbus." I said, rather confidently might I add. "You?"

I saw Tyler's eyes light up a bit and a ghost of a smile creeping it's way onto his face 

"Dude!" Tyler exclaimed. "Same!"

I felt actually pretty surprised. How had I never seen him before? Maybe we lived at different ends of the town. 

I caught myself staring at the brown haired man infront of me, a slight blush forming on my cheeks. I could tell from the sudden heat I felt in the room. 

"Uh- uh s-sorry.. I was just thinking..." I chuckled warily, hoping he wasn't creeped out about my staring. 

But dude how could I not! I'm gonna be very gay here and admit that, yes, Tyler is very frickin hot. 

"Na it's all fine. It's your first day must have heaps of thoughts in your head." Tyler chuckled and smiles at me. He had a gorgeous smile. 

"Dude I'm surprised we never met each other if we both lived in Columbus." I admitted, scratching my neck. 

Ok, I seriously need to work on my social skills. 

Add that to the list!

"Yea it sort of it. Unless we probably have seen each other around but not realised it." Tyler concluded. 

"Yea that's true. So what did you do at high school?" I asked. I was interested to learn more about Tyler. 

"Oh.. well, uh, I was considered a 'jock' I suppose. I played basketball. Got a full ride scholarship from it." He explained. He was actually pretty cool. Now for the test I suppose. 

"Dude that's awesome! That must mean you had girls all over you. You got a girlfriend or eyes set for any girls?" I asked a bit timidly. 

"Uh- actually-" Tyler was cut off by the door slamming open by some, actually, rather good looking dude also. 

Nothing compared to Tyler though. 

But this guy had a pretty big forehead. Let's be real. 

"HALLA! BRENDON IN THe- house. Who's this pretty boy you got yourself, Tyler?" This guy, Brendon, asked. He seemed to have no shame. I liked him. 

"Uh, Brendon. This is Josh. My new roommate."  
Brendon nodded at Tyler before turning around and facing me. 

"Hey dude! I'm Brendon." Brendon said before sticking his hand out very excitedly. 

I chuckled at him, deciding I liked the dude, before returning the gesture and shaking his hand. "As Tyler said I'm Josh. Just got here today."

Tyler just laughed at the two of us before looking at the clock.

I followed his glance and realised it was actually getting pretty late. 

"Yo so Brendon what did you need?" Tyler asked, a small yawn escaping his soft, plump lips. 

Granted they weren't as plump or soft looking as Brendon's, but he looked kind of feminine. 

"Oh! Right! So Ryan is coming over later and I was wondering if we could use your makeup again because we are going out to drag at the bar again. Boss called and people miss us apparently." Brendon chuckled. 

I could totally see him doing drag. 

Tyler chuckled too before walking back into what I imagined was his room before returning a few moments later with a rather large, colourful bag. 

"Dude you really need to buy your own makeup." Tyler laughed as he handed the bag to Brendon. 

"You do drag?" I piped up, suddenly feeling very self conscious. 

"Yea! My boyfriend Ryan and I go to the bar just down the street every Saturday- well I mean we used to. We haven't gone in a couple months. But we would and we would perform on stage. Ryan plays guitar really well and I can sing apparently." Brendon shrugged. I thought it was awesome. 

"Dude that's awesome. I wanna come see you guys one night when you do it again." I smiled at Brendon. 

He actually seemed really surprised about that. As if he thought I was gonna be rude about it. 

"You actually think it's awesome? Well hell yea dude you can come! I would love that. I already like you Josh." Brendon stated, putting his fist out for a fist bump, which I gladly returned. 

"Ok Brendon I'm gonna set Josh up. He's new and doesn't have a room or anything yet and it's getting late. Goodluck tomorrow night bro." Tyler smiled at him before hugging him. Brendon saluted before walking to the door and out again. 

"Sorry about that Josh. He's a handful." Tyler apologised with a laugh. 

I chuckled back and waved him off. 

"Just down here is your room. I'll grab a couple boxes and help you in." Tyler grabbed a couple boxes from the front before motioning down the hall. 

I followed him into the bedroom which was actually decently sized.

We both moved all the boxes and bags into my room before Tyler spoke up again. 

"You're awesome Josh. I'm glad I have you as a roommate instead of someone else. Brendon used to be my roommate but he moved out and is living with our other friend Dallon. He's pretty cool. You'll like him. Well goodnight Josh hope you sleep alright." Tyler smiled and nodded at me. 

I returned the smile with a small 'thank you' and 'goodnight' before Tyler walked out, closing the door. 

Damn today was a long day.


	3. Stressed Out

I woke up to the sound of an alarm blaring through the room. 

Funny, I don't remember setting an alarm? 

As I woke up a bit more, I realised it must have been Tyler's, and he wasn't awake as it was still blaring. 

Looking over at my own clock, I had to squint a bit from the harsh red lights that read 7:30 on it. 

Time to get ready I suppose. 

Tyler's alarm was still blaring so I followed the noise and found what I guess was Tyler's rom. 

I knocked softly, but still hard enough, half expecting Tyler to answer. I waited a few minutes, but decided Tyler was still asleep, so I did what anyone would do. 

I opened the door and walked in. Just as I was about to wake Tyler up, I noticed the sound of the alarm. 

Fall out boy. 

How much cooler could Tyler even get? The voices in my head were liking him. 

I shook away the thought when I realised Tyler wasn't waking up. I was procrastinating waking someone up. 

That's a new achievement. 

"Tyler. Tyler come on buddy. Wake up." I said while gently shaking Tyler.

He shot up hurriedly, scaring the living day lights out of me. 

"Holy shit!" I screamed, falling back on my ass and landing on something hard. I moved to the side and looked down, seeing a small rolled up pencil case. 

"Crap! Josh? What are you doing?" Tyler finally noticed, yawning a bit and rubbing his eyes, deciding to lay down again after shutting the alarm up. 

Cute. 

"I was- I- just- uh- it's nearly 8 and-" I was cut off by Tyler sitting up again and screaming. 

"WHAT?! I'M GONNE BE LATE FOR CLASS!" He shouted. 

I watched as Tyler was quick to get out of bed and change into new clothes. I couldn't move, stunned by the loudness of Tyler's voice and his rushed movements. 

As Tyler took off his shirt, turning around to not face me, I got a glimpse of something small and black on his arm, but I also heard the sound of rustling plastic. 

I hadn't seen much, but he had a couple tattoos already. Is this another tattoo?

Tyler spun around, clutching a long sleeved white t-shirt, and almost screaming when he realised I was still there. 

Must have forgotten. 

"Shit! Oh my god I forgot you were here." Tyler breathed, clutching a hand to his chest while leaning on the cupboard and placing his other arm across his eyes. 

"Sorry." I chuckled, standing up but stumbling when a pain shot up my spine. "Shit." I muttered under my breathe, rubbing my lower back. 

"Dude, you okay?" Tyler asked, looking at me from under his arm before standing up straight again. 

"Yea, yea just landed on a pencil case or something when I fell. Back hurts but I'll be fine." I muttered, waving Tyler off. 

He looked skeptical as he helped me up and led me out into the main area before setting me on the couch. 

"I'm getting you an ice pack. You're new and everything so they will be thinking you're still settling in. Wanna ditch today?" Tyler asked as he walked to the fridge before throwing me an ice pack. 

I wasn't sure how to feel. I mean, it was my first day and everything but at this point, my back was way too sore to even walk. So I guess that made up my mind. 

I smiled back at Tyler before scooting over a bit for him to sit too. "Sure why not. Maybe we can hang out and just get to know each other more? Unless you're gonna go to class cause that's fine too." I chuckled. 

Tyler decided to skip class and hang out with me. Said something along the lines of not doing anything in his classes anyway. 

So the day consisted of us just sitting around, eating and drinking, talking and watching this show called Supernatural. While also confessing some things. 

O confessed to Tyler about being gay, to which he smiled the biggest genuine smile I had seen in a while, honestly. 

It took a while, but Tyler stared into my eyes after my confession, before looking from my eyes to my lips. 

I copied the actions. 

Tyler leaned in, and so did I, catching onto what was happening. 

We were about to close the space between us when, once again, Brendon stormed through the door. 

Tyler and I hurriedly pulled away, a slight blush covering Tyler's cheeks and no doubt mine too. 

"Have you not heard of knocking?" Tyler half shouted, coughing and looking at me for a second before looking back to Brendon. 

"Yea, no. Where were you today Tyler?" Brendon shouted back, looking between the two of us and around us and seeing the mess we had made. 

Whoops?

Tyler looked down guiltily before looking back up and meeting Brendon's eyes. 

"I- uh- I didn't hear my alarm and Josh came to wake me up but I scared the shit out of him and he fell over and hurt his back so we just stayed in today. Sorry, I should have texted." Tyler replied, scratching his neck. 

Brendon looked between us both again before slowly nodding to himself, a smile starting to grace his features. "So I guess you guys just hung out and spoke about things?" He asked, slightly amused. 

Must have realised what was about to happen before he barged in. 

"Yea we did. I told Tyler I'm gay so that's something I guess. Also thanks for scaring the shit out of me by barging in Brendon. My back thanks you too." I replied sarcastically while a small chuckle. 

Brendon smiled really big, before speaking again. "Well I will leave you boys to continue whatever, this, was.." He said with a slight wink, causing Tyler to go wide eyed and blush. I just laughed, waving bye to Brendon before hearing the familiar click of the door. 

"Uh, sorry about that, I guess." Tyler chuckled, awkwardly scratching his neck. 

I just laughed and told him to not worry about it, knowing I will need to be getting used to that happening more often. 

Tyler and I made eye contact once more before both awkwardly looking away, myself giving a small cough. 

"Want me to grab more snacks and keep watching Supernatural?" Tyler asked. 

"Sure. Why not?" I laughed back. 

What else was there for us to do?

Besides. Sam and Dean were hot.


	4. Doubt

No more skipping class for me. I started first class today- music. I was really happy about it. I had my drums but I wasn't quite sure on if I was ever going to use them. 

As I walked down the hall, I couldn't help but notice a girl with bright blue hair walking into the music room. 

She looks fun. Maybe I could try get to know her. I wonder who else will be in my class. Hopefully people I could make friend with. 

As I walked into the room, I noticed the only spare seat was next to that girl. What a better time to try make friends, am I right?

I walked over and tapped the girl on the shoulder. "Hey is this seat taken?" I asked somewhat calmly. 

The girl giggled slightly before motioning for me to sit. Maybe she could sense how nervous I was. 

"Alrighty then! Hello class! How are you all?" The teacher shouted out with a cheerful voice, earning a few groans and some 'good's muttered. He's pretty happy for a teacher. 

"Now I know it's early morning, and you are all probably very tired," to which I groaned and payed my head down on my arms. 

I was very tired. 

"But I see a few new faces in here this morning. So let's all introduce ourselves. When your name is called, just stand up in your place and say something about yourselves!" The teacher announced, earning a few groans and happy claps from people. You could really tell who wanted to be here and didn't. 

"Alright! First up is... Lindsay Ballato?" The teacher called, sounding like a question to see if he pronounced her name right. 

"Present!" She called before jumping up. 

She had nice long black hair ties into two ponytails and bright red lipstick. Her outfit was a plaid skirt, with knee high socks and boots and a stripped shirt under her jacket. 

If I was straight, I'd date her. She was hot. 

"So, I'm Lindsay, and I love art and I play the bass in a band with some friends." She smiled before sitting down once again. 

The teacher smiled brightly, no doubt from the fact she loves music and is in a band, before nodding his head and looking to the roll once again. 

A few more names were called before the spotlight was on me. 

"Joshua Dun?" He called out, looking around. 

Since I was new, everyone was curious and was looking around the class for me. 

I stood up, everyone's eyes just staring at me. 

"Uh hey. My name is Joshua, but I prefer to be called Josh, I chose to take this class because I love music and I play the drums." I sat back down while everyone clapped. I guess I did good then?

"Zac Farro?" The teacher called once again, this time struggling a bit with the last name. 

"Yo! So I'm Zac, and I play guitar and sing a bit in a band with two other people in this class." He saluted the teacher before sitting down once again. 

There were obviously a lot of people in here in a band of sorts and who liked performing or playing music. 

I will fit in nicely. I think. 

"Ashley Frangipane?"

The girl next to me stood up, beaming a wide smile. 

"Hey! My name is Ashley and I love to sing. I have performed at a few places already and my stage name is Halsey." Everyone clapped for her as she sat back down too. 

Ashley. It was nice. 

I looked over at her and smiled as she sat down. 

The teacher continued to call names down the list, which took almost the whole class for today, and as it got to the end of the list, he called someone I hadn't even noticed in the room. 

"Brendon Urie.." The teacher said with a slight disappointed and annoyed voice. 

I can relate to the teacher. Even though Brendon is a really cool guy, I understand where he's coming from. 

"Thank you. Hello everybody. I'm Brendon-" he was cut off by a really tall guy jumping up and shouting at him. 

"BEEBO!"  He shouted, which caused the whole class to laugh, including me. 

"Anyway," Brendon called, dragging the word out. "I am Brendon and I can sing and play the guitar and like almost every other instrument. Thank you!" He shouted with rock fingers as he sat down. Boy he sure was something. 

The teacher went on longer, calling more names. Some peoples name stood out to me, like Dallon, I learned, was the tall guy with Brendon. 

I think Tyler had said Brendon is his roommate. 

Some other people were Hayley, a girl with really nice bright orange hair, and Jimmy who had a sick Mohawk. 

"Ok guys, so I haven't introduced myself to a few of you yet. I'm Mr. Armstrong, but you guys can call me Billie Joe, I really don't mind. And, I know it's only the first class but you have an assignment. It's easy, don't worry. I am assigning it now because it will take some time to do. So you can do it solo or in a small group/pair. You have to create a song and perform it on the due dates. Good luck guys!" The teacher, Mr. Armstrong, announced. 

I looked over to see Ashley looking at me. "Hey." I waved slightly. 

"Hey. You have an idea of anything?" She asked me. Did she want to work with me?

"So far? Nope. There's my friend I was wishing I had in this class cause he writes songs but he has performing arts." I shrugged. Damn, made me really wish Tyler was here. 

"Damn. I would ask you to do it with me but I prefer solo acts. Sorry Josh." Ashley chuckled at me. I smiled back. 

"Na don't be sorry! I will figure something out. Good luck Ashley." I nodded at her. She was a really cool girl. 

She smiled before replying 'likewise' and walking off to a microphone. 

I looked over at all the instruments and saw a few things. Maybe I could do a trumpet piece? Na I will stick to drums. 

As I turned towards to drums I heard a voice that sounded really familiar to me. 

"Uh hello I'm sorry I'm late, sir. I transferred classes." The voice sounded. I decided it didn't interest me and I just wanted to play so I sat at the drum set and decided to play some Nirvana. 

I was confident. I mean, a few other people were playing drums too so I was fine. 

As I started playing, I heard Ashley squeal. 

Must have figured out something for her song. 

A few moments later, just as I was starting to her into drumming, I herd my name be said somewhere and so I stopped drumming and saw a few people looking at me. 

I chuckled and I could feel the heat rising to my face so I placed the drum sticks down before standing up and starting to walk back to my desk. 

I pulled out my phone before I bumped into someone, looking up and about to apologise when I saw the familiar brown eyes. 

"So Josh, is this that friend you were talking about?" I heard a snicker behind the boy, looking around the see that blue hair. 

I chuckled at hit her on the arm to which she laughed and hit me back, before saluting me, winking at me, then walking off. 

The salute must be a thing with this class. 

I looked back in front of me, still chuckling, before I engulfed him in a hug. 

"Tyler! Bro! What are you doing here?" I asked as I released the hug, much to my displease. 

"Well I didn't like performing arts that much. Decided I wanted to transfer and the VP let me since there wasn't many people in music and too many in performing arts so here I am. And I already like it better here." He chuckled, looking down and shaking his head. 

"Dude that's awesome! Welcome to the class!" I hugged him once again, only briefly, before I pulled away and we both laughed at each other. 

"So Josh, wanna do this assignment with me?" Tyler asked. 

Fuck yes. 

I chuckled and replied with a loud 'hell yes!' before we both shouted 'sick!' at each other. 

I liked music already.


	5. Heavydirtysoul

The past month had gone really quickly. 

Class was amazing. Tyler and I were working together every day to come up with things to add to it. 

But over the past month, Tyler and I also grew closer. 

A LOT closer. 

Over the past month I couldn't help but fall for the guy even more. I mean, he was amazing. 

The way Tyler would go and cuddle with me at night after bad dreams or thoughts, or the way he would try to make waffles, but he always ended up leaving them on too long, or the way Tyler was so passionate about his music. Everything about Tyler was perfect to me.

I loved him. 

And I was falling harder and harder for him every day. 

Yet, every day, there were still so many more questions and mysteries I wanted to ask and find out about Tyler.

One was that I still couldn't help but wonder about his tattoos. He had two on his chest, one on his right wrist, and some going down both arms. 

They were all some sort of pattern or language, except the one on his wrist, that read 'Blurryface' with a line going through it. 

It was odd to me, and I wanted to know who, or what, blurryface was. It intrigued me, to say the least. 

Still, through all these little things about Tyler, with every coming day over the month and a bit I had known him, each day the passion of the stolen kiss grew more fierce, and the more fierce it grew, the more I just wanted to push Tyler up against the wall, and smash my lips onto Tyler's plump, pink lips. 

And maybe some other things. 

My thoughts were interrupted by Tyler plopping down on the couch next to me, sighing heavily. 

"What's up Tyler?" I asked, a small yawn escaping my lips. 

Today had been very long and tiring. 

"Oh, nothing. Just been thinking about... things.." he mumbled, resting his head on my shoulder and closing his eyes. 

"What sort of things?" I mumbled out, resting my head on top of Tyler's. 

I could feel him smile on my shoulder. 

"It's not important right now. Wanna watch a movie or something?" He asked, lifting his head up to look at me. 

I knew something was up when Tyler changed the subject, but being the good friend I was, I decided to just drop it. 

"Uh, sure... want me to grab some popcorn or drinks?" I asked, starting to stand up. 

Tyler smiled slightly before nodding and standing up, walking off to the TV to find a movie. 

This moment seemed so similar to a day dream I had in class. 

It's as if it was something out of a movie or a fanfiction. 

Who knows. Maybe Tyler and I will marry and have kids and-

Let's not go there. 

I placed two popcorn bags in the microwave and set it, before thoughts started flooding back through my mind. 

"You alright with watching more supernatural?" Tyler called out, breaking my thoughts. 

"Uh yea! Coming!" I stumbled on my words.

Just at that moment the microwave beeped to let me know it was done.

I grabbed two bowls out, tipped popcorn into each before grabbing two red bull cans and walking back into the lounge. 

I handed Tyler a bowl and can, to which he grabbed with a smile, before I sat down and had Tyler press play. 

So that's how we spent that Friday night. 

Watching the entire of season five of supernatural. 

Sam and Dean were still hot as fuck.


	6. Heathens

"Hey, Josh," Tyler knocked on the door while slowly walking into my room. "You awake?"

All Tyler earned back was a deep groan. 

It was too fucking early. 

"Josh come on wake up. I wanna take you out for breakfast!" Tyler urged. 

At that, I sprung out of bed and pushed Tyler out of my room so I could get dressed. 

There was no way I was denying free breakfast. 

After a while, I opened the door and nearly tripped over Tyler who was just sitting in the hall waiting. 

"Let's go Tyler!" I yelled as I grabbed Tyler's hand, a blush forming on Tyler's cheeks. 

"Uh, lead the way, Tyler.." I chuckled awkwardly, realising we were holding hands. 

Tyler just chuckled and started walking, me following close behind. 

Tyler took us to a little cafe on a corner near the college. It was pretty deserted, so I guess that was a good thing. 

I got us to sit at a table in the back next to a window, hoping we could just chat a bit more. Learn more shit about each other. 

Plus the view was great. 

"So Tyler, I wanted to get to know you a bit more. I mean, we only really spoke about ourselves to each other like, I don't know, a couple times." I mumbled out and I sat down. 

Tyler's cheeks grew a bit pink, probably from a memory, as he followed suit and sat down across from me. 

"Ok sure. What do you wanna know first?" Tyler asked eagerly. 

"Uh, it's been bugging me a while, actually, but what do your tat-" I started, only to be cut off by a waitress walking over. 

"Hi! My name is Sarah and I'll be your waitress this morning. Would you gentlemen like any juice or coffee to start you off?" The waitress, Sarah, asked. 

"Uh I'll just have a coffee thanks." I replied. She nodded with a smile before writing it down and turning to Tyler. 

"An orange juice please." Tyler asked, to which he got the same response. 

"Okay! Your drinks will be right out." She grinned before walking away. 

"Uh, as I was saying, what do your tattoos mean? Or at least some of them." I finished. 

"I will tell you if you tell me what your tattoo means." Tyler countered, pointing to my sleeve tattoo on my arm. 

"Deal." I responded. 

So I told Tyler what the story behind what my tattoo meant, then Tyler started.

I noticed after Tyler finished that he mentioned all but the one on his wrist.

"Tyler... What does the one on your wrist mean?" I spoke up, after our food was placed in front of us. 

Tyler looked between the tattoo and me, guessing that he was contemplating wether he would tell me or not. 

"Blurryface, it's the voice inside me. He cares what you think. He hears everything. He is what has made me do bad things to myself over the past years. He's the reason I am who I am." Tyler ended up saying, picking up his knife and fork and cutting some of his waffle up to eat. 

I nodded, and let out a hum before going over what Tyler said. 

He wasn't that much different to me. 

Once we were back at the dorm, I couldn't handle it anymore. Being near Tyler and not having him know how much I was falling for him hurt. 

All I wanted to do was sit there, cuddled up to Tyler. 

"Josh? What are you thinking about?" Tyler asked. Only then did I realise I had been quiet for a while. 

"Uh- oh- uh- n-nothing... It doesn't matter.." I stumbled over my words. 

Very convincing Josh. 

"Are you sure?" Tyler asked, worry and confusion lacing his features. 

"Yea. I-I'm fine." I muttered. 

Again, very convincing. 

Tyler slowly nodded before patting my shoulder, letting me know that he was always around to talk, before walking off to his room. 

As I started heading to my room, I couldn't get rid of this nagging at the back of my mind. 

An assignment maybe?

Wait. 

Oh my god. 

The song! Both Tyler and I had forgotten over the past week!

"Tyler!" I shouted. 

"Josh?! Are you okay?! What's wrong?!" Tyler shouted, slamming the door open to see me. 

"Calm down Tyler. Nothing's wrong. I just remembered something." I sighed out. 

"You made me worry over nothing! Damn you Joshua." He sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. 

I mentally cringed at the use of my full name. 

"Yea yea whatever, but what about our music assignment." I waved my hand at him. 

"SHIT!" He shouted, his eyes wide. 

"Told you!" I pointed at him. 

So over the course of the night, we worked on the song.  

I think we actually had it finished by the end of the night. 

"What do you want to call it?" I asked as Tyler wrote the final lyric and started rereading it. 

"How about... The Run And Go?" Tyler asked looking up at me. 

I thought it over for a second and thought about some of the lyrics before smiling and nodding. 

"I like it."


	7. Car Radio

As I headed to science, I was stopped by a group of preppy looking jocks. 

Not this shit again. 

"Hey punk boy, what do you think you're doing here?" The guy I assumed was their ring leader asked. 

Even into college they can't come up with better insults. 

"Uh, I go to school here." I stated, getting annoyed by them. 

I tried to keep walking but was stopped by then grabbing my arms and pulling me back. 

"Oh really? This school isn't a place for people like you," the main jock spat again. "so I suggest you beat it." He smirked, thinking he won. 

Now, I should know better than to talk back. 

But I did anyway. 

"And what if I stay?" I spat, struggling out of their holds. 

I seemed to be a lot stronger than I was during high school. 

By now everyone was in class, and as I spoke back, the jocks threw punches at me, kicked me, pushed me into lockers, and spat on me.

It's so much fun being beaten to a pulp. 

Ha. Sarcasm. 

After about 30 minutes of this happening, the jocks decided they were done with me. 

"I'm Ronnie. That's Andy and that's Bert," that Ronnie guys said, pointing at the two others beside him. "Remember us for next time, fag." He finished, waking off while laughing with the other two. 

I just laid there, bruised, broken and bloody. I was struggling to breathe, and I couldn't get enough strength to push myself up, so I just lied there until I could muster enough strength to go back to the dorm. 

I can already sense Tyler freaking out when his class ended. 

After a couple hours is laying in pain and struggling to breathe, I heard the main door to the dorm open. 

I heard Tyler slowly walk to my door and saw as he gently pushed it open, revealing a broken and bloody me, obviously in pain. 

"Josh!" Tyler shrieked, earning me to groan in protest from the loudness of his voice. 

Tyler must have realised how loud he was, before cringing a bit and slowly walking over and sitting beside me on the bed. 

"Josh... What happened?" He asked, pain crossing his features as his hand came up to cover his mouth. 

I tried to reply but I couldn't talk. I felt like I would start sobbing at any given moment. 

The pain was too much. 

Tyler looked into my eyes as a tear rolled its way down my cheek, escaping from my eye. 

Tyler took a shaky breathe, his eyes looked glassy from bushes tears, before gently pulling me into a hug. 

"Josh, what happened?" He pleaded, trying to keep calm. 

"Tyler I," I sighed, not wanting to make eye contact. 

I hated crying in front of people. 

"I ran into some guys on my way to class, and they beat me up, calling me names and telling me my, I quote, 'punk ass shouldn't be here.'" I started to choke on my words, holding back tears, while also struggling to take in breathes of air. 

I was slowly getting my strength back and it was slowly becoming less painful to breathe. 

"What names were they calling you?" Tyler sighed, helping me up before picking me up and carrying me gently to the bathroom. 

"Faggot, bitch, loser, idiot, dick, emo, gay, and other things... I can't remember it was all a blur." I stated, my face contorting into one of pain as Tyler set me down on some blankets and towels on the bathroom floor. 

I shifted myself, making it so I was a bit more comfortable before Tyler stood up and walked to the sink. 

He looked up, taking a deep breathe before looking back at me through the mirror and giving me a small smile. He then opened the cabinet and pulled out a first aid kit, before turning back around and sitting on the ground next to me. 

He smiled slightly but sadly at me, before opening the box and pulling out a couple things. 

"Josh I am sorry this happened to you. You are too amazing for this to happen. You are kind, an amazing friend, helpful and so many other things, Josh," Tyler started, meeting my eyes and giving me a smile before ripping open a small packet with a cloth inside. "This may sting a little. It's just an antiseptic to clean up some cuts." He said, before pressing the cloth onto some spots on my arm. 

I hissed from the pain, a couple tears falling over my cheeks. 

After Tyler had cleaned up all my cuts and bruises, he unwrapped a few bandages and wrapped me up, making sure not to put them on too tight. 

I nodded at him with a smile, letting him know I was fine and could move a bit now. 

Tyler still insisted he helped me up, before leading me back into my room. 

"Are you sure you're okay? I can't stand seeing you this hurt. How's your ribs. Can you breathe okay? And your back-" Tyler rambled, but I cut him off with a small chuckle. 

"Tyler it's okay, really. I'm fine now thanks to you. I can breathe a lot better and my back's fine. I'll just sleep a little soon and I'll be fine. I promise." I chuckled. 

It seemed to take away some of Tyler's worries, as his face shifted from one of worry to one of relief 

We sat there in silence for a few moments, neither of us making a sound before Tyler glanced down to my lips. 

I copied the actions, wondering if this was actually about to happen. 

My thoughts deemed that, yes, it was happening because Tyler gulped and started leaning in. 

I followed suite. 

The gap slowly got smaller, and Tyler couldn't take how slow it was moving, so it seemed, because he huffed a breathe of air and muttered 'stuff it' before snaking his arm to the back of my neck, and pulling me forward to him, closing the gap between us. 

He kissed me with passion, but still made sure he was being gentle as to not hurt my cut open lip. 

It was better than I could imagine. Tyler's lips were soft, and so plump and kissable. Just how they looked. 

We sat on the bed, just lazily making out for a few minutes before releasing, Tyler blushing a bright tomato red. 

It was pretty cute. 

"I-I'm sorry I- I just-" Tyler started, but was cut off by my giggling. 

"Tyler it's ok. You have no idea how long I have wanted that to happen." I admitted, looking down at my lap and chuckling, moving the purple hair that had fallen in front of my face out of the way. 

I looked up again to see Tyler blushing a deep crimson while looking down at his own lap, a smile finding its way onto his lips. 

He looked back up, and before he could say anything more, I slammed his lips back onto Tyler's, surprising him, but without hesitation he kissed back. 

It wasn't long before I grabbed Tyler's hips and pulled him onto my lap, Tyler deciding to wrap his arms around my neck, while I placed one hand on Tyler's lower back and the other in his fluffy brown hair, tugging on it gently. 

It was so fluffy. 

Tyler grabbed the back of my shirt, as he leant his head back, letting me place kisses all down his neck and collarbone. 

I started kissing around Tyler's lower neck, sucking on random places, before one place made a small moan escape Tyler's lips. 

Insmirked, realising I had found his sweet spot before I kept biting down and sucking on the spot, making sure I left a deep purple bruise. 

Tyler looked down at me before lifting my head up to him and slamming his lips onto mine again, pulling me so my hands were on his hips while his legs hooked around either side of me whileTyler leant up on his knees so he was leaning down to kiss me, cupping my face in his hands. 

We released after what felt like hours, both of us breathing heavily for air. 

We looked at each other, Tyler in my lap, the both of us smiling and blushing deep red. 

Tyler was cute when he blushed. 

"Josh I have wanted to do that since the day you knocked on the dorm door." Tyler admitted, a sign of content escaping his lips as he rested his forehead against mine. 

"Same here. I really like you, Tyler, and I want to be more than friends." I admitted also, looking so we were looking each other in the eye. 

"So, like, best friends?" Tyler asked, smirking. 

I rolled my eyes before chuckling.

"No you doofus. I mean I would love to be your boyfriend." I chuckled, holding his hand in mine and looking into his eyes. 

Tyler looked away, the blush never leaving his cheeks and a wide smile appeared. 

He looked back up and smiled before gently pecking my lips. 

"I would love that Josh." He smiled. 

We smiled at each other before shifting so we were cuddled up with each other, Tyler's head in the crook of my neck. 

You finally did it, Josh. 

I think I finally found my happy ending. 

Tyler fell asleep before me due to me playing with his hair, but I followed not long after before shifting Tyler a bit so he wasn't on top of the nasty bruise on my rib.


	8. Message Man

It had been a week since the little, 'make out sesh' between Josh and I, and neither of us had spoken about it. 

It hadn't gotten awkward between us, and we didn't exactly become a couple. 

It all confused me, and no doubt Josh too, and I wanted to be something more with Josh, but I wasn't sure if anything was gonna happen. 

I was walking back to the dorm, meeting up with Josh half way while coming back from our classes. 

Even though we both major in music, just like high school, we have to choose another core subject to major in. 

While Josh chose science, I got literature. 

I needed good English to write songs, did I not. 

"Hey, Tyler..." Josh started. I could hear the nervousness in Josh's voice. 

"Yo. How was class?" I asked, trying to make it not so awkward between us. 

I hated the atmosphere that was surrounding us. I wanted the happy fun times back. 

"I mean, it's science. We did a couple experiments but nothing too special. How was your class?" He replied, trying to sound as confident as he could. 

Just like on the first day. 

"Yea it was cool I guess. We watched a couple clips about proper language and shit. Nothing too fancy." I responded, shrugging my shoulders while taking the key to the dorm out of my pocket. 

As I opened the door, I held it open for Josh to enter first, noticing the small pink tint on his cheeks, which made me smirk. 

As I set my bag down, Josh was the one to start up conversation. 

"So uh, about what happened last week," Josh started, dropping his own bag and sitting on the side of his bed, taking a deep breathe. "Where do we stand?"

"Uh I-I don't know... What do you think?" I responded, trying not to become too awkward once again. 

"I don't know what to think. Are- are we a- a thing?" Josh asked once again, stuttering on a few words. 

At this, I felt a warmth cover my body, blood rushing to my cheeks, and judging from the grin I got from Josh, I knew I was blushing. 

"I mean, I-if you want to be..." I stuttered out, wondering where this would actually go. 

Josh stood up and walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. 

He came closer so there was less than an inch between us, before Josh moved his hands to my cheeks, leaning closer before whispering in my ear. 

"Let's see where life takes us, bean." I didn't have time to reply before Josh closed the space between us, landing his lips on mine. 

I wrapped my arms around Josh's neck, moving into the kiss to deepen it. 

Josh released, looking at me for a few moments before speaking up. 

"Tyler?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

"Yes, Josh?" I replied in an almost dreamily state. 

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Josh asked, a nervous smile covering his features. 

I looked at him, staring deeply into his deep hazel eyes, heat rising to my cheeks once again. 

I looked down, smiling like an idiot before resting my head on Josh's chest. 

"Yes Josh. I will be your boyfriend." I replied, looking back up with a smile and a chuckle. 

Josh smiled bigger than before, before connecting his lips to mine once again. 

We sat like that for a few minutes, just slowly making out before Josh's stomach growled, breaking us apart with a laugh. 

He pecked my lips once more before walking off to make us both some food. 

"I love you..." I whispered to myself. 

Before I knew what had happened, a voice with a deep tone echoed around in my head, spilling hateful things into my mind. 

Saying awful things to poison my thoughts. 

The voice. It was back. 

I went and lied down in my bed, sighing loudly before screaming, so Josh couldn't hear, into my pillow. 

He could never love you Tyler. The voice whispered into my ear. "I know." I whimpered silently, talking to myself. 

You're pathetic. Can't even keep him safe. He spat at me. "I know. I'm useless." I sobbed, tears threatening to break past the surface. 

The voice smiled. I could hear it. It spewed more awful things at me, all to which I agreed. 

I was useless. I was pathetic. I was a hopeless cause. 

I was nothing. 

I knew I couldn't get rid of blurryface, the voice, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed that Josh got rid of the voice. 

At least for a while. Whenever Josh was around, blurry wasn't. 

Maybe Josh could help me overcome it. 

I smiled a tiny bit. What are you thinking Tyler. Josh just wants to build you up just to knock you right back down again. Can't you see? You're nothing to him. He taunted to me. 

He was right. How could I be so foolish. "You- you're right. No one could ever love me. Especially not Josh." I whimpered, tears flowing down my cheeks. 

I layed down in bed, turning so my back was to the door so if Josh came in he couldn't see me. 

Why would he even come in though? To check on me? I mean nothing to him! He just wants to hurt me. 

I sighed, letting the tears flow down my face while sobbing quietly into my pillow. You always know what's right Tyler. And you know now that Josh isn't. He just wants to watch you suffer. You might as well end it all before he gets the chance to do it for you! 

I had had enough of listening to the voice. I reached over and grabbed a couple sleeping pills from the bottle on my nightstand before swallowing them dry, hoping they would help me sleep. 

Not today, blurryface. 

Not. Today.


	9. Truce

The weeks went by so fast, and before both Tyler and I knew it, it came time to perform the song for our class. 

To say we were nervous was an understatement. 

"Josh?" Tyler stuttered out, turning to face me slightly as we watched a performance from a group who called themselves Paramore. 

Hayley was the singer and damn they were good. 

The song I think they were singing was called Still Into You but it was far from sounding like a lovey-dovey love song. 

"Yea Tyler?" I responded quietly. 

Watching them perform honestly took away some of my worries as my mind shut down. 

"I'm scared. What if I mess up? What if they laugh at us? What if-" Tyler started, only to have me cut him off. 

"Tyler calm down. We will do fine. You will be amazing. Just close your eyes and pretend like no one is there but me." I turned, my full attention on him as Hayley and the other two, I think Taylor and Zac were their names, finished the song and left the stage. 

Tyler let out a shaky breath before looking up, smiling slightly at me and nodding. 

He can do this, and so can I. 

The class had the stage booked to perform as the classroom was so small, and we all knew everyone would be pretty loud so we didn't want to disturb surrounding classes. 

It was a good thing we booked it too, seeing as Brendon's performance with Dallon and a couple others named Dan and Kenny was really loud. 

The song was also weird. Who writes about closing doors?

"Ok Tyler and Josh you boys are up!" The teacher called, breaking me from my thoughts. 

We both stood up before walking onto the stage and getting in place. 

I sat myself behind the drums and Tyler at the microphone on the piano. 

"Ok so hi guys... I'm Tyler and that's Josh.. And we are doing- uh- a song called- uh- the run and go..." Tyler spoke, stuttering and stumbling over a few words. 

He'll be okay. I'll be okay. 

"Ok whenever you're ready boys!" The teacher spoke loudly, clapping his hands with a grin on his face. 

Tyler sighed deeply and turned back to face me, giving me the signal to count in. 

The sounds of drums filled the room, then the sweet vocal talent of Tyler started, leaving the class in awe. 

I mean, I hope. Tyler's voice was amazing. 

After we finished, both of us were out of breathe. Drumming was a lot harder than people made it out to be, especially when you're trying to bounce around and be energetic at the same time. 

The class was silent for a few moments before Brendon, Dallon and Ashley stood, screaming and cheering, the rest of the class following soon after. 

Tyler and I both smiled widely before linking arms and bowing. 

Performing felt amazing. 

"That was amazing boys! You know, I would consider starting something with you two. Possibly a band. I don't know but you guys sound awesome together." The teacher stated, a wide grin covering his features. 

I had only heard him say something similar about a couple other groups so to hear that was just amazing. 

Tyler and I looked at each other, smiling, before walking off the stage and sitting back down. 

I zoned out after that, and by the look on Tyler's face he had too. 

I thought about being in a band. I mean, it had always been a dream of mine. 

Blink-182 was a big influence on me during high school, and hearing that I had what it took to be in a band really made me think about it. 

Being in a band would be cool. If Tyler and I got this reaction today, who knows how else other audiences would react. 

I knew something special was here, and I wanted to follow the teachers words and make something out of it. 

I just really hope Tyler has the same idea, because being in a band with him would be the best thing I could ever imagine. 

Best friends in a band, touring and travelling the world with a growing fanbase and other famous friends?

Hell yea! Who knows, maybe if we got big enough I could meet Mark Hoppus!

I turned to face Tyler, smiling and giving him a high five as the teacher dismissed us for the day. 

We stood up and grabbed our bags, beginning to walk out when we were stopped by a little group of people. 

Brendon, Dallon, Ashley, Hayley, Zac and Taylor crowded around Tyler and I. 

"Dudes you did awesome!" Brendon shouted, earning the rest of them to mutter a form of agreement before bringing both Tyler and I into a bone crushing hug, soon followed by Dallon then Ashley, and before I knew it the whole group was in a giant group hug. 

"You all did amazing too! Now guys let us go!" I laughed, feeling someone touching my ribs and making me laugh. 

We all seperate from the hug, before we fully introduced with the Paramore guys. 

They were really awesome and really sweet, and I hope I could call them more friends. 

Tyler, Dallon, Brendon, Ashley and I all walked out and deciding to grab some food together to, I guess, 'celebrate' completing the assignment. 

"How does Taco Bell sound?" Dallon suggested, before Brendon tried to stop him with a playful annoyed look on his face. 

Ashley was just confused as to Brendon's actions. But before she could ask, Tyler and I shared knowing glimpses before doing our handshake and shouting 'frick yea!' earning a chuckle from Ashley and a groan from Brendon. 

Brendon smacked Dallon in the arm, who then punched Brendon back, before engaging in a war leaving Ashley, Tyler and I to stand by and laugh at it 

Today was definitely awesome.


	10. Goner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This is triggering to some people so I guess a trigger warning for this chapter for drunk and alcohol abuse]

"Hey, Josh..." I heard Tyler call from the main area. 

"Wasup?" I shouted back, making my way out of the bathroom. 

Tyler giggled at the way I responded with such high energy and like a bee. 

I was a bee. 

Full of buzzyness. 

"I have been thinking about what Mr. Armstrong said, yaknow?" Tyler started after I sat next to him, my arm wrapping around his shoulders on instinct. 

I sighed before turning to face Tyler better. 

"So have I. But college-" I started, Tyler cutting me off. 

"We could start a band. Start with small venues and just chill finishing college for the year then ditching and pursuing music." He spoke with so much passion and enthusiasm that it was hard to saw no. 

Tyler had thought long and hard about it, so it seemed. 

"I love the idea, but I don't think we should, at least not right now." I sighed, hating how Tyler's face fell. 

Tyler sighed, knowing he was defeated. But least he knew I wanted to start it just not at that time. 

It wasn't like I was completely dampening his dreams. 

"Ok. We will drop it for now, then?" Tyler sighed, looking at me through his eyelashes. 

"Yea. Just for now." I smiled, giving him a side hug. 

Tyler nodded before pecking my cheek and walking into the bathroom, the shower turning on. 

(A/N: where I'm from legal drinking age is 18, so let's just role with that for this story)

I had gotten a call from Brendon, who I've gotten pretty close with, asking if Tyler and I wanted to go out for drinks with him, Dallon, Kenny, Spencer, Ryan and a couple other dudes I had met maybe once. 

Gerard and Frank I think their names were. 

Of course I agreed. I wouldn't pass an opportunity like this. 

I called out to Tyler and explained what was happening, hearing him shout back an agreement that he would be there later. 

He had to meet up with an old friend of his, Jenna, and help her move into a different dorm. 

I arrived at the bar not long after I left, a small walking distance, and straight away seeing the boys sitting off in a corner sorta hidden away. 

Understandable since Brendon, Dallon, Kenny and Spencer had started an 'overnight sensation' band. 

I had to admit, they were pretty damn awesome. 

Still didn't understand their thing with doors though. 

"Hey guys!" I called out, sliding in next to Dallon and across from Frank. 

The dude had some sick tats. 

"Joshy Ma bro!" Brendon called, reaching across Dallon to give me a fist bump. 

I waved to the other guys, small greetings of hello, just the usual. 

"I got you a beer." Dallon said, sliding it over. 

"Thanks dude." I smiled back, taking a big swing from the glass. 

"So is Tyler coming along?" Ryan piped up. I haven't spoken to him much before. He was always shy and very to himself but he was really sweet once you got to know him. 

"Yea he said he would join us later. He's helping Jenna move dorms." I replied, gulping the rest of my beer. 

The night consisted of drinks, shots, dares and anything else, mostly, Brendon could think of. 

Even spin the bottle. 

In a fucking bar. 

Everyone was getting a bit tipsy, Brendon drunk off his nuts, to the point where nothing was registering in most of our brains. 

Tyler still hadn't joined us, and I was thinking he wasn't going to at all. 

I looked over, a smile that made my eyes squint on my face from laughing, at Dallon, completely missing the buzz my phone made in my pocket. 

Neither of us knew what was happening but we slowly inched towards each other, before the gap closed fully, our lips competing for dominance in a drunken make out session- my mind completely forgetting about Tyler. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Tyler walk into the bar, but it could have been anyone. 

At the mention of Tyler, I jumped, hitting my knee on the table and making Dallon jump, before we both realised what had just happened. 

Dallon opened his mouth to say something when his eyes stopped behind me, staring. 

I turned around to see Tyler, as I was correct about what I saw. 

I saw Gerard, the least intoxicated of the lot,  standing with Tyler. As he spotted me looking at him, regret plastered my face and I saw Tyler's eyes looking glassy with unshed tears. 

I stood up, trying to walk over when Tyler turned his back and started walking off, his arm wiping his nose. 

"Tyler wait-" was the last thing I said before Tyler was fully out of the bar. 

I cheated on Tyler. The one man who fully let me in, who gave me all his trust, shattered. 

I turned to Gerard, a hand covering my mouth as he gave me small, sad smile. He pulled me in for a hug and let me sob into his chest. 

"Hey Josh it's okay. Trust me. You'll make it up to him. I've been in your position before. Frank and I had had a fight once and I stormed off, getting g shit faced and he ended up coming to the bar to apologise when he saw me smooshing face with some random guy. I know how you feel and Frank and I will help you. It's okay." Gerard soothed, rubbing his hand up and down my back and pushing the hair from my face. 

I looked back up at him, a small smile on my face as I wiped my tears, uttering a small 'thank you' to him. 

I put a few dollar bills onto the table before bidding farewell to everyone, having sobered up from what happened, before starting to walk out. 

Gerard paused me, going and saying goodbye to Frank before leading me out and walking with me back to the campus. 

Seeing as he wasn't intoxicated he wanted to help. 

I couldn't thank him enough. 

When Gerard and I got back to the dorms, Tyler was nowhere to be seen. I kind of figured he wouldn't be here. Probably staying with someone else. 

You really fucked up this time, Josh. I thought to myself, a maniac laugh in the back of my mind. 

The voice. He always came out when something bad happened, but I was no longer drunk enough to block him out. 

Tonight just keeps getting better and better.


	11. Hometown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Trigger wanting for mentions of drug and alcohol abuse and mentions of suicide]

Never. Fucking. Again. 

That's all that was going through my mind. 

I hurt Tyler, and I was stupid enough to get so drunk that everything around me flew out the window of my thoughts. 

Being drunk off your nuts does things to you, like make you wake up with the worst hangover ever. 

I wasn't exaggerating. Not only was the pain of what happened last night on my head, but so was the alcohol, making it even worse. 

Tyler hadn't come back to the dorm and I was starting to get worried, but I knew he would be safe. It's Tyler. 

A few days passed and still Tyler wouldn't come to their dorm. Not even to get things he needed like clothes. 

When I spotted him in the halls and in music, Tyler just completely ignored me. Wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. 

I will admit, it hurt. But it was my own fault. 

Over the next week, Tyler still avoided me and having broken his heart, and my own, I ended up hanging out with Dallon, Gerard and Frank more, and we were all getting pretty close. Especially Dallon and I. 

Not a strong, love interest close, seeing as Dallon was crushing hard on Brendon, which, might I add, was killing him seeing as Brendon and Ryan were a thing, but more like a really fucking good friend- if not brotherly- sort of close. 

I found it funny how Dallon was in love with Brendon. Although Dallon never admitted to love him, I could see it by the way Dallon spoke about Brendon. 

It was really cute.

They would be really cute together if Brendon didn't have Ryan. 

It had been about two weeks since it all happened, and each day it was killing me a little bit more inside, but having Dallon, Gerard and Frank around did help. Made me feel not so lonely, especially with them telling me similar stories of stuff happening to them too. 

Like the time Dallon dated this girl Breezy but ended up finding her making out with this other girl names Sarah. 

Dallon and Breezy broke up but Sarah and Breezy became a thing. They were all still friends though. 

Dallon sort of felt like he liked guys more anyways. 

We were all in my dorm just chatting and hanging out when a knock sounded on the door, and the sound of a key turning the lock. 

I got a hopeful feeling in my stomach and chest, hoping it was Tyler, but that fell when Brendon walked in and closed the door behind him. 

Fitting with the song he wrote. 

"Oh- uh hey guys. I was kind of expecting just to see Josh." Brendon stated, stopping in his tracks as he walked in a noticed four pairs of eyes on him. 

"Oh, hey Brendon. Was kind of hoping you were gonna be Tyler," I chuckled, scratching my neck and flipping against the side of the bed again. "What's up?" I asked. 

"Nothing. Just came to see if you were alright and wanted to see if you were busy but I guess you are. Mind if I join you guys?" Brendon asked, an almost pleading look in his eyes. 

"Ha never would have imagined you to be the serious check up on people kinda guy. But yea go ahead." Dallon chimed in, motioning for him to sit. 

"Hey I can be serious if I want to!" Brendon pouted, joining us in the almost circle we had on the floor. 

Frank and Gerard were cuddled up, leaning against my bed while Dallon stretched out an leant against the wall next to the door. 

I was leaning against Tyler's bed, my head resting on the mattress. 

"As serious as your bad driving?" Frank piped up, earning a snort from Gerard who immediately covered his mouth, and I could see Dallon trying to hold his laughter, but I couldn't. I let out the biggest laugh, causing the others to laugh. 

Brendon shoved me slightly while laughing, before glaring and flipping off Frank who just shot him the look of an angel. 

"Oh shut it Oreo," Brendon started, causing Gerard to let out the loudest laugh we've heard from him. 

"Oh I'm so using that!" Gerard shouted, almost falling over from laughter, before he actually did by Frank pushing him over. 

"Anyway," Brendon started again, chuckling and letting Gerard calm down. "I also wanted some help with something..." he said, watching with a chuckle as Gerard wiped all the tears off his face. 

"If it has anything to do with fucking people, being rude or pranks, I'm out. Unless it's a good prank. Then I'm in." Dallon started, getting a nod from Gerard too. 

"Fuck that! I'm in for anything! Sign me the fuck up for whatever shit you had planned." Frank beamed, obviously very excited. 

Brendon smirked before responding. "What if I was about to ask for your guys help with my drag costume?" He countered, smirking as Frank's face fell into one of horror. 

"Nope! No way! Nope I did not ask for that!" Frank spat out, repeating different versions of 'no'. 

"You did say anything Frankie..." Gerard smirked. 

Frank shook his head and crossed his arms like a kid, causing Gerard and Brendon to laugh. 

"Na it's nothing like that, but I might need your help with future pranks," Brendon started, still chuckling slightly as Frank's face fell into one of relief. "But anyway I am really confused and don't know what to do right now."

"Don't worry B. Save the drag for me," Gerard started, chuckling. "But what's wrong? You looked kind of down when you came in." He asked. 

"What's wrong?" I chimed, looking over and seeing worry lines on Dallon's face. 

"Well, uh, Ryan kind of, well- uh-" Brendon stuttered, his voice starting to sound a bit strained. 

"Bren it's okay if you can't say." I soothed, pulling him into a slight side hug. 

"No it's just, Ryan broke up with me." He sighed out, leaning his head forward as I heard a sniffle come from him. 

Dallon came over and engulfed Brendon into a hug, soon followed by Gerard and Frank, before we were all engulfed in a group hug, Brendon's tears staining my shirt with eyeliner, no doubt. 

After a while, the hug released and everyone went back to their positions. 

"You okay, B?" Dallon asked, putting a hand on Brendon's arm. 

Brendon looked at his hand and smiled, looking into Dallon's eyes where they both seemed to be a little transfixed, only breaking eye contact and blushing when Gerard snorted again. 

"Well, i should go anyway, uh, it- it's getting late and I have uh- penny to feed a-and drag ton-tonight, so, uh, bye. Thanks for h-helping guys." Brendon stuttered our, nodding with a small smile before leaving us all again. 

It was silent for a few moments before Dallon cleared his throat, earning us all to look at him again. 

"Well, uh, I've known Brendon for a while and I'm a bit worried about his state right now. Last time this happened it wasn't good." Dallon sighed, rubbing his face with his hands and he crossed his legs and leant forward with his elbows on his knees. 

"What do you mean, last time?" Frank asked. 

Dallon sighed before starting again. 

"I shouldn't tell you, it's not my place to say, but you guys are Brendon's friends too. Just don't let this dampen your mood of Ryan. He's been through a lot too but he's better now than he used to be," Dallon sighed again. "Brendon has been with Ryan in the past, and it hadn't worked out. Ryan had turned to a dick and Brendon was sure he was a spawn of the devil, but he still liked him. God knows why he did, but he still did. 

"Brendon and I have also known each other since we were kids, like 6 years old or something. We used to be really close, but something happened between us that we sort of stopped talking as much. It happened when we were about 16, we were hanging out in the park one day, gently rocking back and forth on the swings when I got up and decided to crouch in front of Brendon. Because I was, and still am, so tall, we were basically eye level. 

"We both smiled at each other, Brendon was confused but didn't have time to say anything when I leaned in and kissed Brendon. Stupid idea, I know. 

"Brendon was caught off guard but still sunk into the short, but, holy shit, amazing kiss," Dallon stated, looking almost dreamily at the memory.  "It was that day that made me sure about my feelings for Brendon, but after that we never spoke about it, never got closer, and seemed to drift apart slightly. We didn't really start talking again till senior year, before graduation, and now we are back to being friends. The whole thing put behind us. But Ryan and him started dating after what happened between us, and the first time he dumped Brendon it was just before we started talking again. 

"Brendon got into drugs, he got that bad from the break up and the trauma he was receiving at home from being openly gay, and I started talking to him again to try help him. And I did. But he still went crawling back to Ryan. 

"Now that he's broken his heart again, I'm afraid he'll fall back into his cocaine and alcohol addiction. He got so bad last time that he wasn't eating. All his money went towards the drug. He was living off of it. And he nearly killed himself on drug overdose and alcohol poisoning. I don't want to see that happen again." Dallon finished, a year rolling down his cheek. 

He sniffed slightly before wiping the tear away, everyone deep in thought when he spoke up once more. 

"I just don't want him to try and kill himself again."


	12. Fall Away

I had gone to stay with Jenna for a while, not wanting to have to face Josh. Because Jenna was in my English class, it made it easy to stay with her. 

Besides, she didn't live too far from the music room. 

Seeing Josh in the halls and music class though? That was tough. 

I was just sitting on the spare bed, scrolling through tumblr and Twitter when there was a knock on the dorm door. Jenna was out with her friends, Sarah and Breezy, so I got up and answered it, finding a very perky, nervous and distraught Brendon. 

"Beebo hey what's up?" I asked, opening the door wider for him to come in. 

"Uh I texted Jenna seeing as you guys are friends to ask if she knew where you were so I came here. I need to talk to you." He sighed out, closing the door behind him. 

"What's up?" He sat on the couch, Brendon sitting opposite him. 

"So, uh, I was hanging out with Dallon, Gerard, Frank and Josh maybe like half an hour ago," he started, stopping as I visibly cringed when he mentioned Josh and Dallon. "The aren't together you know. Dallon is going through something too and Josh is scared for your safety. Gerard, Frank and him are just comforting him." Brendon explained. 

I calmed down a little, knowing that made me feel a little better. 

Brendon sighed before starting again. "He misses you. He isn't eating, he isn't sleeping, God knows what else he has done to himself! He missed you Tyler and he knows he fucked up. Promise me you will go talk to him?" Brendon asked, no, pleaded, me. 

I was trying to refuse, every corner of my brain telling me it was a lie, but Brendon's expression knew he was saying the truth. Besides, who can say no to Brendon's puppy dog eyes. 

Plus my heart tells me to go for it. 

I sighed and nodded, standing up. 

"Also that's not the only reason I came over." Brendon sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. 

I walked to the mini fridge and got out a couple cans of red bull, handing one to Brendon who gave me a small smile and a nod as a thank you. 

"What else is up?" I asked, cracking open the can and sighing in content at the first full of the drink. 

"Ryan broke up with me. Again. And- and I don't know what to do, Tyler. I still love him but I also love someone else and it's tearing away at me and I know I shouldn't but I just want to go get drunk or high and forget about it all." Brendon sighed, his eyes red rimmed with unshed tears. 

"Brendon," I sighed, going over and hugging him. "First off, I know you also love Dallon and I also know he's crazy in love with you. Second off, I don't care if you get drunk, as long as you're safe but pleas, for the love of god, the only high you'll ever getting is from weed. I'm not letting you go back to that stage in your life Brendon. You nearly Fucking died and it scared the shit out of me, Dallon, Spencer, everyone you knew." I pleaded to him. I remember the time as if it was yesterday and it scared me to think about him being that bad again.

He sighed before nodding. "Okay. I pr-promise. And i-is it true? What you s-said ab-about Dallon?" He looked up at me with hopeful eyes. 

I looked down at him and smiled while nodding. "He's in his dorm right now alone. I was texting him before you came in. Go get him Beebo." I chuckled, ruffling his hair as a smile came to his face. 

"Don't call me that!" Brendon shouted while flailing his arms in the air, earning a giggle from me, and a very distinct laugh from the doorway. 

Brendon and I looked up to see Jenna, Sarah and Breezy giggling, but the one who stood out most was Dallon's laugh too, making Brendon blush with embarrassment. 

"So when Brendon texted I guessed what it was about," Sarah started, walking into the room followed by the other three. "And so on our way back we went and got Dallon and I guess my theory was correct." Sarah grinned, looking smug. 

"Always trust Sarah. She's smarter than she looks." Jenna laughed, earning a smack on the arm from Sarah and for Breezy and Dallon to have to support each other from laughing too hard. 

"We will leave you two alone. Im taking these three girls somewhere. But please if you do something, go back to your own dorm." I chuckled, standing and ushering the girls out with me.

"Good luck Ty. Remember you're always welcome in our dorm too." Brendon and Dallon both smiled at me. 

I looked up, smiled at Brendon before engulfing him in a hug, soon turning into a group hug with Dallon and the girls, which turned into another laughing session, before I finally got the girls out the door with me. 

"Ok bye guys." Tyler said waving.

Time to go and see Josh again. I do hope he's okay. 

Of course he's not okay. He had to deal with you! You are worthless. Clearly you weren't good enough for him. That's why he cheated on you. 

Blurry. He was back. 

Get out of my damn head!

"Tyler, are you okay?" Jenna asked. We were stopped a couple doors down from my dorm, and I hadn't realised I started shaking till now. 

Jenna knew about blurryface. She knew about my struggles. She had been my best friend during high school. 

"Uh- uh yea i-I'm fine. Just nervous." I lied. Well, it wasn't a complete lie. I was nervous. Just my shaking was from other reasons. 

I have her a look that she had come to know from high school, telling her that blurry was here. 

Fine. Have it your way. But just remember Tyler, I will never truly be gone. I am you. I am your real side. You can never defeat me. 

I sighed, sniffling and rubbing my eyes before any tears could escape. 

Jenna pulled me into a slight hug, kissing my forehead before nodding me goodbye and goodluck. 

As they entered the elevator and it left, the words that came out of my mouth in a silent whisper were beautiful, and I couldn't help but want to turn them into a song. 

"I'm forced to deal with what I feel,  
There is no distraction to mask what is real. I could pull the steering wheel." I sighed as I rest my head on the door to our dorm, standing there for a moment. 

I won't hurt myself. 

Not today. 

I knocked finally and stood back so I didn't fall when the door opened. 

As the door opened, it revealed the purple haired guy I fell in love with, and the fiery red head and the tattooed midget. 

I smiled genuinely for the first time in weeks, before engulfing Josh in a hug. 

He hugged back.


	13. Friend, Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Trigger warning: mention of poor sleep, malnourishment, and fatigue]

As Tyler engulfed me in a hug, I felt content. It was the first time in a couple weeks I had smiled genuinely. 

I would guess the same for Tyler too. 

After I released the hug, we just started at each other for a few minutes, before Tyler launched himself at me and pushed his lips onto mine, kissing me with so much passion and love it was intoxicating. 

I pulled us further into the dorm so we could close the door, before leaning back against the door, me pushing Tyler into it. 

I opened my mouth slightly, Tyler copying the action, before I licked my lip over his bottom lip, causing Tyler to moan. 

Before it got too heated, I heard a cough behind us, to which I quickly pulled away and looked back, remembering Gerard and Frank were still there. 

Oops. 

"Oh, uh, sorry." I stuttered, heat rising to my cheeks. I looked over at Tyler to see his cheeks flushed red and an embarrassed look on his face. 

"It's all good. But so you know we aren't leaving. Thanks to Frank we are basically banned from everywhere outside of our classes and dorms, meaning we can't go to the library, food court unless it's lunch break, or the music room outside of our lesson. And besides, Franks roommate Ray has his girlfriend over and my brother in my dorm has his girlfriend over also so we basically have no where to go." Gerard chuckled, sending a mock glare at Frank. 

I just chuckled at them. "Yea that's fine I guess."

I sat on the couch again, Tyler sitting beside me, Gerard and Frank opposite us. 

"I missed you Tyler." I sighed, wrapping my arm around his shoulders again. 

"I missed you too. I'm sorry I ran off. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I did- did, well, this," he motioned to Josh's arms, torso, face, basically everything, before looking back up, "to you. You don't deserve what I did to you and I am so so so so sorry Josh." Tyler sighed out. I felt guilty for making him feel like he had to apologise. It wasn't his fault. 

I smiled before closing the gap between us again, resting a hand on Tyler's left cheek while resting my other hand in the small of Tyler's back, rubbing small circles and leaving a groan escape Tyler's mouth.

"You have no reason to be sorry Tyler. What happened was my fault and my fault only. I'm the one that did this to myself. I'm the one that hurt you. I'm the one that made you in away. You have no reason to be sorry." I smiled, connecting our lips once again before licking Tyler's bottom lip, but Tyler didn't budge this time, so I moved the hand from Tyler's back to his thigh, earning a squeak-slash-moan-slash-weird dolphin noise from Tyler, who opened his mouth just enough for me to take advantage of. 

Once again we were disrupted by a cough. 

We pulled away, both of us breathing heavily and smiling, before Tyler got up to grab a bottle of water before throwing it at Gerard, who tried to smack it away but ended up hitting Frank in the face, causing me to double over from laughter from the look of surprise on Frank's face. 

Every time I looked back at Frank, I started laughing all over again. 

After I finally calmed down, and Gerard had kissed Frank to make it better, I layed down on the bed, Tyler walking over and joining me, cuddling into my side. 

Tyler rested an arm on my stomach, the other ok the side of my chest between our bodies. 

Only then had I felt how skinny I had gotten, after realising Tyler's arm was really heavy and digging into my ribs when that normally didn't happen. 

Tyler sighed and rested his head on my chest. Tyler laying on me made me realise how bad I got as I could also feel how short and shaky my breaths were. 

After a while of Tyler tracing small patterns on my stomach and chest, I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness, my breathes evening out and becoming deeper. 

Before I fell fully asleep, however, I heard Tyler mutter to the other two about how they could stay the night, and Tyler resting back down before whispering into my ear. 

"Goodnight Josh," he sighed. "I love you..."


	14. Holding On To You

Since Tyler had been back, Josh realised how much they were broken when they were apart. Not apart as in different classes, but apart as in long periods of time and distance and for a bad reason. 

I had been falling even more in love as the days went with the little bean boy. I always seemed to catch myself daydreaming about the future, like would we get married? Adopt some kids? Find our own house? Get proper working jobs? That sort of stuff. 

I was in the middle of a daydream when I was poked on the shoulder with something very pointy. 

And sharp. 

"Ow! What the hell?" I shrieked, turning and seeing the culprit was, indeed, the one and only Brendon Urie. 

"Sorry to ruin your daydream moment, but class is over." He motioned around, to which I realised he was correct. Everyone was packing up their things. 

He was handy to have in my science class sometimes. He was actually pretty smart. 

"Oh. Thanks, Brendon. But next time don't stab me." I sent a mock glare at him while still smiling slightly. 

"No promises." Brendon smirked while walking out of class. 

As much as I hated him, I also couldn't help but love the fivehead guy. 

I gathered up the rest of my things before walking out the door, sending a small goodbye to the professor, Mr. Dirnt. 

As I walked down the hall, I saw Tyler and Dallon walking out of their English class, Brendon behind them stalking up to Dallon. 

He motioned for me to be quiet. I just tried to hold my laugh as I walked closer. 

Tyler noticed me and grinned, but I motioned behind him and for him to be quiet. He saw Brendon an smirked, nodding. 

I walked up and maintained a casual conversation with them when Brendon launched himself onto Dallon's back, causing Dallon to trip and shriek as he fell, earning Tyler and I to laugh along with a few other people around us, some I recognised from my classes like Hayley, Zac and Taylor. 

After they got up and brushed themselves off, Brendon helped Dallon stand up and only then did I notice how happy they both looked. 

Especially Brendon. 

"What's got you so happy?" I asked, Tyler nodding along with a look of wonder on his face. 

"Oh nothing... Except maybe a certain someone is now my boyfriend..." Brendon giggled while looking up at Dallon and curling his fingers around Dallon's as Dallon looked at Brendon and their hands also, a faint pink to his cheeks. 

Tyler was silent for a moment before he piped up, quiet loudly.   
"Oh my god! You guys are official?" He shrieked, earning Brendon to chuckle. 

"Heck yes! What about you guys though. Little Joshy and Ty-guy?" Dallon responded, bringing Brendon's hand up to kiss before looking back at us. 

Tyler blushed at the statement. It was really cute. 

"We are good. For the moment." Tyler responded, looking at me with a smile. 

When he got back, we didn't exactly get straight back to being in a relationship. Tyler wanted to wait a bit again and gain his trust for me back, which was understandable. 

"I'm happy for you guys. Now I'm pretty sure Frank and Gerard are at the cafeteria if you wanna see them. Unless frank got them kicked out again," Brendon chuckled. "We are gonna head back to our dorm. We'll catch you guys later." He finished off, sending us a small wave as they walked off. 

I smiled and turned to Tyler, hearing my stomach growl which made Tyler giggle. 

The most adorable fucking giggle ever. 

"Hungry?" He asked with a bit of cockiness. 

I rolled my eyes at him before muttering a 'fuck yes' and leading us to the cafeteria in time to witness Frank trip over and spill his small carton of milk all over poor Gerard's head. 

It was quiet a sight. 

Gerard just sat there, eyes squeezed shut and his posture stiff before he relaxed again, Frank's mouth moving in what I guess was apologies to Gerard while wiping his face off for him. 

"Hey guys what's this all about." Tyler started, the both of us trying not to just fall to the ground with laughter. 

"Oh uh- no-nothing just I- uh, tripped over something..." Frank stuttered, and I immediately looked around and saw it was the table of jocks who beat me to a pulp that day, plus their friends, all laughing their heads off. 

"What you looking at, punk?" Andy, a heavily tattooed guy just like frank who had dark hair and his nose pierced piped up, looking at me with a scowl. 

I was about to come back with a retort when a hand landed on my arm, and I looked over to see Tyler, Frank and Gerard all looking at me. 

"Do you know them?" Gerard asked, quickly glancing at the table. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. "Yea. They're the guys who beat me to a pulp that day." I sighed out, sitting down next to Tyler at the table, my appetite no longer there. 

I mean I guess I was used to not eating anymore anyway. I was still just bones from not eating for so long. You could even say I was bordering being called anorexic. 

Even with Tyler having been back for nearly a week, I still couldn't eat much and even when I did eat, it wouldn't stay down. 

But Tyler didn't have to know that. 

"Do you want me to go get you something to eat Josh?" Tyler asked, worry in his eyes. 

I smiled at him and asked him to just get me a coffee. He nodded before taking Frank with him. 

Even though the jocks tripped him, no one dared do anything to Frank or Gerard because of Frank's reputation with slamming people's heads into walls. 

"Josh, are you okay? I know you haven't been eating even with Tyler back." He looked at me and asked. 

I looked up at him and shrugged, not knowing if I should talk about this with him. 

Gerard sighed before looking up and blinking a few times. "Look, Josh, you can always talk to me. Whatever you're going through, it's almost guaranteed I have been through it too, if not worse." He looked at me and placed his hand on mine, causing me to look at him. 

"Last year was really bad for me. Trust me. I started starving myself because I thought I was too fat, and I became anorexic too. Then I was slipping back into my habits or drinking too much all the time. I was basically always drunk and almost always high off cocaine or weed. I know what you're going through and what's going through your head. Trust me, it gets better. I would probably be dead right now if it wasn't for Frank," Gerard sighed, taking his hand back and pulling his sleeves down to wipe his eyes. "I also used to self harm a lot. I sometimes still do because I'm not fully sober yet, yaknow. You ever see me with long sleeves for a couple weeks at a time and looking as though I'm drunk?" He asked.

I nodded. 

"Yea well it's because my head got the better of me and I self harmed and drank. I'm done with drugs, I jut smoke now. But alcohol is still a big thing for me. So Josh I'm always here for you if you ever need me, okay? Don't think you're alone." He smiled sadly at me, placing his hand over my wrist for a second, to which I cringed because, yea, I did self harm a bit. Since Tyler left, I was self harming and almost always wearing a hoodie.

Tyler had surely noticed. 

As I cringed from the sting his hand left, he nodded and smiled, knowing what was there, before taking his hand away and smiling at Frank and Tyler who sat beside us, handing both Gerard and I a coffee each.


	15. Migraine

It had been a while since I had dyed my hair, and the purple was starting to fade. It looks like a pinky-blue sort of colour. 

I was looking in the mirror playing with my hair when I saw Tyler walk in. 

"Hey." I said, letting go of my hair before washing my hands. 

"Hey. What'cha doing?" He replied, leaning against the doorframe. 

"I think I wanna dye my hair again." I replied, standing up straight. 

"Oh what colour?" Tyler replied, standing a bit straighter with a smile spreading onto his face. 

"Blue maybe? Purple again? Or pink." I responded, imagining each colour in my mind. 

"I think blue would look nice!" Tyler announced. 

I nodded with a smile before walking over and wrapping my arms around Tyler's waist. 

"I will head to the shops tomorrow." I whispered, leaning my forehead on his. 

Tyler wrapped his arms around my neck, smiling and closing his eyes. 

We were silent for a minute before Tyler pushed his lips onto mine, before we fell into a slow rhythm. Tyler opened his mouth slightly, licking my lip with his tongue to which I opened my mouth immediately, our tongues dancing together. 

Tyler smiled, causing his teeth to bump mine which caused me to smile, bumping our teeth together too. 

We released after that, breathing kind of heavy yet laughing slightly. 

"Josh I love you. And I mean it. When I'm with you I feel safe, like nothing can harm me. Each day that goes by, my love grows. I find new reasons every day as to why I should love this beautiful man you are, and no thoughts as to why I shouldn't love you happen. I want to be with you Josh. I love you from the bottom of my heart." Tyler stated, leaving me speechless. 

I had wanted to hear that since the day he returned. 

I just stared at Tyler, my cheeks heating up and smile creeping onto my face as Tyler ranted. 

I placed a finger on Tyler's lips to tell him to stop talking, to which he obeyed, before I leaned in a pecked his lips, not moving far so our lips were silk brushing against each other as I spoke. 

"I love you too Tyler. And I feel the exact same way." I smiled, resting our foreheads together again. 

Tyler smiled before leaning his head in the crook of my neck to hide his blush, which I found cute. 

He was cute. 

"Tyler?" I whispered in his ear. He just hummed in response as I lifted his head by his chin. "Will you be my boyfriend?" I asked, a bit nervously. 

At this, Tyler looked up and into my deep hazel-brown eyes, smiling like a mad man. 

He leaned up and connected our lips again, briefly, before replying. 

"Yes Josh. That would be a dream come true. Just, please don't hurt me again." He pleaded, his eyes sad from the memory. 

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut, regretting everything I had done. 

"Tyler I promise. I was drunk and stupid and I know that's no excuse and I'm sorry but I promise you," I took his hand and sighed, looking from our entwined hands to his face again, a small sad smile on my face. "I will never hurt you again. If I break that promise I give you full permission to chop my head off." I added, making Tyler chuckle. 

He smiled, a sparkle in his eye, leaning up to kiss me once again, but before our lips touched, a loud bang in the main area forced us apart. 

"Daddy's home!" We heard being shouted. 

Damnit Brendon. 

Not again. 

I groaned loudly, to which Brendon heard judging by the laugh. 

"Brendon not again!"


	16. Taxi Cab

I had decided to go out and relax by myself for the day, maybe pick something up on my way home as a gift for Josh. 

Just everything that had happened over the last couple weeks had tired me out. It was a chill time with classes, seeing as it was nearing our Christmas break and was getting colder, so the teachers just let us chill. 

I mean, we always just chilled in music anyway, sometimes having to perform or play an instrument or sing in front of the class, but aside from that,   
Mr. Armstrong just let us chill and play our own stuff. Sometimes he would have a jam session with the class. 

He said how he had a band with a couple other teachers, Mr. Dirnt and Mr. Cool. I thought that was, I guess, pretty cool. 

I wanted to just get out there and relax a bit since we had a few big exams coming in the following week. Yes, it was chill but it was also exams week coming up. 

Another reason the teachers let us chill out. We could use the time to study. 

I was driving down to this nice little lake with a little bridge, a place where I always spent my childhood after we moved. 

When my mum died, I would always come out here to relax. It wasn't that far of a drive from campus, but my old house was closer. 

I arrived and parked the car on a patch of grass, before getting out and silently walking over to the little bridge. 

It was old, you could tell that, but still very sturdy. It wasn't a large river, only small with a very slight current, but still enough of one to make a gentle splashing noise against the rocks below. 

It was really calming, and I couldn't help but lean against the railing of the bridge of close my eyes, just letting the sounds lull me for a few moments. 

It was like a mini forest, with trees surrounding the river, nice grass patches where I could sit quietly and listen to the birds in the trees and pick at the little flowers in the grass. It was magical. 

It was like a dream. 

I opened my eyes and looked over, deciding it would be better to sit on a nice patch of grass near the edge of the river. 

I sat there just thinking, and maybe half sleeping, for a few hours before I decided to get some food, since my stomach grumbling woke me up. 

I headed further into town, a fair away from the college, to a Chinese food place, getting takeaway so I could go and eat it somewhere else. Keep relaxing a bit. Clear my mind before I had to be stressed about exams once again. 

I knew Josh was stressing with having to study for his science exam. 

Science exams were always harder than English, that's why I wanted to get him a gift. To take his mind off exams for even just a moment. 

On my way to finding a place by the park to eat, I saw a cute little shop that had jewellery, clothes and other little random trinkets. 

It was a cute little shop. 

I decided to go in, maybe find a ring or necklace, or something for Josh. I know he liked necklaces. 

As I entered the store, a little bell went off. I smiled at the slight sound it made, really calming. 

"Hello there! Can I assist you in any way?" A nice lady clad in a long, flowing purple, black and blue skirt, with a nice blue and black small strapped tank, her thinning out brown hair tied into a bun with a couple wooden things that looked like chopsticks stuck in it, and a small pair of glasses sitting around her neck. 

She was a little old, her skin sagging and noticeable wrinkles on her face, but she wasn't like super old. 

She was really sweet. 

"Uhm yes actually. I was looking for a ring or necklace for someone." I stated, looking around a moment before looking back at her, seeing a smile on her face that I couldn't help but smile at too. 

She was a really happy person. 

"Ah a gift I presume. Family? Girlfriend? Friend?"  
I coughed a little awkwardly at the word 'girlfriend'. 

She was sweet enough. Surely she wouldn't judge me or be a stupid homophobe. 

"Uhm actually it's for my- uh- b-boyfriend.." I stuttered while scratching the back of my neck and feeling a sudden warmth in my face. 

"Oh I get you! Hey don't feel awkward. I get you. My wife loves rings. Can't stop buying them for her," She chuckled out. "My name is Jannett. What is your name love?" She asked while leading me over to a cabinet at the front with some necklaces and rings. 

I smiled at the mention of a wife. Made a happy feeling spread through my body 

"Oh that's awesome. Sounds like you two are very happy," I smiled at her, images of Josh and I's future running through my mind. "And my name is Tyler. It's nice to meet you." I put my hand out to shake, which she gladly returned with a smile.

"Right so back to you. Anything in particular you think he would enjoy?" She asked, bringing out a little tray with various chains, another with various rings and the last one with various pendants for a necklace. 

"Uhm maybe something with blue and some nice patterns? Some sort of ring?" I asked, looking at my options. 

She nodded before speaking again. 

"Follow me over here. I have a nice collection of rings here." She led me to the other side, pulling out another tray with more rings, but with more colour than the last. 

"Here I think one of these would be nice," she motioned to a little box with some nicely patterned rings, some with coloured gems or beads. "And this one matched something like you were going for."

She held up a silver ring, that had a small pendant like tøp to it that was a moon, with some blue gems lining the base of it. Beneath it was one identical but a sun, with red gems lining the bottom. 

"It's gorgeous.. how much for them both?" I asked, touching them and having a feel of the rings. 

"Only 47 dollars. Best thing about this store, going to other places will cost you close to close to one-hundred dollars, while we charge cheaply." She said with a wink. 

I laughed and gestured that I would take them. 

"Uh could I also maybe get a couple chains for them?" I asked, walking back to the tray with the chains. 

I chose two that were similar, and kind of thick but also thin that would suit the rings perfectly. 

After half an hour in the store with choosing, buying and having the items gift wrapped, one set with the sun ring already around my neck, I finally got to the park and enjoyed my still, thankfully, warm meal. 

After I was finished with the food, I started getting pretty tired, my mind and body beginning to feel drowsy. That's when I figured it was a good time to drive back to campus. 

Guess I should have seen what happened next coming. 

I stood up, discarding my rubbish in a nearby bun, before heading to my car. 

I started the engine and backed out onto the street, starting to head back to the dorms, struggling to keep my eyes open. 

I was about to pass through an intersection when I felt a very heavy push slam into the car, before I slammed into something else, making my vision even fuzzier. 

I made out the images of broken windows, people running to help, and a stick of metal stabbing into my leg, before I blacked out and let the drowsiness and blackness consume me.


	17. A Car, A Torch, A Death

I was wondering where Tyler was, seeing as he wasn't outside class at the end.

I mean, I knew he wasn't in class but he said he was gonna stop by after class and walk with me back to the dorm. 

Class ended two hours ago. 

He still wasn't back. 

"Bro calm down. He could have decided to just stay out a bit longer, maybe he caught up with his dad or something." Brendon sighed, sitting back on the couch opposite me just scrolling through his phone, most likely on twitter. 

"Yea come on. Follow us. Come play some music with us, clear your head." Ashley stood up, holding her hand out to me, which I gladly took. 

I nodded at my three friends, one of them, a new girl, with half of her hair pink and the other half black. 

I think her name was Melanie. 

I was following the girls over to the music room, Brendon beside me, when we entered the music room, asking Mr. Armstrong for permission to be in here. 

He gladly agreed and he joined us for a jam session, and I could tell as we walked in he could sense the tense emotion between us. 

Brendon and Ashley knew Tyler stuck to his word and I could tell they were growing more worried as the time flew. 

Melanie didn't know Tyler so didn't know what we were going through or thinking. 

About maybe an hour into our jam session, my phone began to ring, the sounds of Fall Out Boy blaring through my phone. 

I looked down at the unknown number in confusion, wondering who it would be. 

"Do you need to take that?" Mr. Armstrong, who insisted we called him Billie, asked, looking over at me. 

I nodded before grabbing the phone and walking away from the group, hearing Brendon explain why we were a bit tense before I answered the call. 

"Hello?" I asked cautiously, nervousness in my voice. 

"Hello is this Joshua Dun?" A female asked on the other end. She sounded awfully professional. 

"Yes it is. Who's calling?" I asked, a slight disappointment that it wasn't Tyler. 

I got weird looks from Ashley and Brendon, a confused look on Billie and Melanie's faces. 

I just waved them off. 

"My name is Jamia and I'm a nurse at the Mammoth hospital. No family could be contacted but we saw you were his most recent, and basically only, contact at the moment." The nurse, Jamia, explained, leaving me very confused. 

"I'm sorry who's this about?" I asked, beginning to become quiet annoyed. 

If this wasn't directly important to me, I didn't want to be involved. 

"Oh right, I'm sorry. Tyler Joseph was admitted to hospital around an hour or so ago. Please come in to the hospital and ask for me. I will explain further." She explained. 

I could feel the colour drain from my face as I froze, Brendon immediately getting up and walking over to me. 

"Hello? Sir? Are you there?" I could hear the nurses voice through the phone, to which Brendon took it from me, and spoke for me, his face scrunching up into one of pain. 

"Great see you soon." I heard him reply. 

After he hung up the phone and handed it back to me, to which I was still frozen but now sitting thanks to Ashley and Billie, Brendon explained to the small group what happened, before shock covered everyone's faces. 

Billie helped me up, insisting we had to go right then and insisted he came with, and that he drove us. 

None of us protested. After all, Billie loved Tyler. 

As a great student, that is. Tyler was one of the best students in the class. 

As we all got in and started heading towards the hospital, silence between us all, Ashley spoke up. 

"I hope he will be okay." She sighed, laying her head on Mel's shoulder. 

"He will be. Don't worry Ash." She responded, linking her arm around Ashley's shoulder and hugging her close. 

I couldn't understand how though. What happened?

This was all. Your. Fault. If he hadn't met you, if you were DEAD, he would be alive right now. You're the reason he needed to take a break today. All. Your. Fault. 

For once, I wasn't denying the voice. 

Maybe I was better off dead. All I seemed to be doing lately was hurting people. 

As we arrived at the hospital, everyone got out from the car except me, seeing as I was off in dream land. 

"Hey Josh, we're here buddy." Billie said, placing his hand on my arm and breaking me from my trance. 

I gave him a sad smile before nodding and walking in with them, unshed tears in my eyes. 

As we walked in, a short dark haired woman was at the front desk. 

Ashley explained how she was gonna call Gerard, Frank and Dallon and explain what happened, as we walked up to the desk. 

She looked up at me and sadly smiled. 

"You must be Josh." She stated, standing up and walking around to stand with us. 

After a few moments, Ashley returned and said that the others were on their way, before the nurse spoke again. 

"So, Tyler Joseph was involved in a car accident, landing him here in hospital. He was driving through an intersection, and we believe he had been drugged with sleeping pills, seeing as the ones we found in his system had been mixed with some other things to cause drowsiness quicker than normal. We believe we dozed of for even a second while at the intersection and drive through, to which a car hit him drivers side on, causing his car to be totalled around a tree. Some of the room snapped down and stabbed through his leg also, causing him to lose a fair bit of blood." Jamia explained.

It was a lot to take in, so much so that I had to sit down for a minute, running my hands over my face. 

I must have been sat there longer than I thought, because when I looked up, Gerard, Frank and Dallon were there, Billie talking to them, my guess was explaining to them what happened. 

I looked over and saw Brendon, and he gave me a small sad smile. 

"Here, have some water. You zoned out for a while. Nothing else important you missed really. I mean, yea everything's important just not that much more information I mean." He sighed, handing me a cup of water before rubbing his own face. 

I drunk the water and placed it on the table beside me, before turning back to Brendon. 

"What else is wrong with him?" I asked worriedly, somewhat scared of the answer. 

"A broken arm, fractured ankle, some minor head injuries that have a minor chance of causing him to have temporary amnesia, meaning it would only last maybe two weeks tops," he started, and I sighed a breathe of relief. I was scared we was gonna have brain damage causing him to forget everything for good. 

"Anything else?" I asked when I saw him hesitate. 

He sighed before putting his face in my hands, elbows resting on his knees. 

"Tyler, he," Brendon started, a tear rolling down his face. He choked up and shook his head not being able to talk. 

At that, Gerard walked over and sat next to me, putting his hand on my shoulder and shooting me a small sad smile. "Josh," Gerard started.

I nodded at him with a small smile and hugged him, before pulling back. 

"Josh, I'm sorry Brendon can't talk, it's hard for him and I don't want to have to be the one to tell you, but know I'm here for you no matter what," Gerard started. I was getting nervous. 

By then, everyone was sitting or standing around in a circle, waiting for my reaction. 

"Gerard what happened..." I asked, my voice failing me slightly. 

He sighed and looked down, his red hair covering his face slightly before he looked back up at me.

"Tyler is in a coma."


	18. March To The Sea

I could hear. 

I couldn't see. 

I could feel, but not the pain. 

I could hear the voices in the room, chatting or crying or sleeping. 

I could hear my sisters. 

I could hear my mum, dad, brothers, and I could even hear my friends. 

I could hear Josh talking quietly or crying, I could hear Brendon and Dallon comforting him and my family. 

He even heard Melanie and Ashley, even though I had only met Melanie once. 

This was my family. 

I was so grateful to have these people in my life. 

I could only see black. 

I would sometimes see visions, of my life, or of other things. 

I saw images forming of ideas I had for what music videos would look like to the songs I wrote. 

I saw my ideas. 

I couldn't feel the pain.

My body was numb. 

But I could feel the cold, salty tears on my hands or arms, I could feel people rubbing my arms or legs, I could feel people holding my hands but sometimes when I knew only Josh was in the room, I would feel drops on my face along with a soft feeling on my lips that made me crave more. 

But I couldn't. 

I was trapped in a seemingly endless darkness. 

A spiral on nothingness with nowhere to go. 

This was driving me insane. 

I wanted to see. 

I wanted to talk. 

I wanted to assure everyone that I was okay. 

Mostly, I wanted to return Josh's kisses and make him stop crying. 

It pained me to know he was sad. 

It pained me to know he was crying. 

It pained me to even imagine that Josh would be hurting himself. 

All because of me. 

Out of everyone I heard, I was pretty certain Josh had cried the most. 

I wouldn't blame him. 

Josh was my boyfriend after all. 

All I wanted was to wake up and pretend this was just a horrible nightmare. 

But I couldn't. 

I couldn't escape the darkness. 

I didn't know how long I had been in this state. 

All sense of time was gone, and I didn't understand why it happened to me. 

Which then made me then wonder. 

Did Josh ever get his gift?

Was it ever found in the wreckage?

Did he see mine?

Will I even survive this?


	19. Addict With a Pen

I hadn't left the hospital in the few weeks Tyler was there. 

Melanie and Ashley would bring me food and new clothes every here and there, and Brendon came to visit a few times along with Dallon. 

It was nice to see everyone looking out for me and Tyler. 

Tyler's mum stayed whenever she could, seeing it was hard with work. 

Tyler's sister and brothers came too. 

Along with me, Zack stayed most of the time. 

I spent most of my time crying, sleeping, drawing small patterns and playing on my phone. 

Mainly crying and holding onto Tyler's hand though. 

The school was aware of what was happening, but seeing as Tyler and I both majored in music, we weren't missing much. Same with our other majors.

Sometimes Brendon would bring work from science for me to do so I caught up a bit. 

I awoke with a start the next morning. 

I checked the time and squinted my eyes as the clock glowed bright red showing 2:53. 

I looked over to Tyler while rubbing my eyes. 

I wasn't expecting anything to have changed. It hadn't in the 3 months Tyler had been here. It was both good because it means he wasn't getting worse, but bad because this next week was expected that the plug would be pulled if he didn't wake up. 

I didn't want that to happen. I wants Tyler to wake up. 

Tyler couldn't leave me. 

Not yet. 

I looked up and yawned, but nearly fell out of the chair as I saw Tyler, looking at me and smiling while sitting up in his bed, a lazy look on his face. 

"T-Tyler?" I stuttered, rubbing my eyes again then punching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming still. 

"Hey dog breath." He replied with a slight chuckle. 

I got up and ran to the bed and hugged Tyler, careful not to hurt him. 

"Hey Jish don't cry." He soothed, holding me back just as tight as I was holding him, maybe a bit weaker since he was in a coma, and held my head on his chest as I sobbed. 

I couldn't believe he was awake. 

I chuckled and pulled back, wiping my tears away before reaching out and holding Tyler's face in my hands.  

"Is this real?" I choked out, my eyes roaming all over his face. 

"Yea. I think so. I mean, I hope so." Tyler chuckled back at me with a smile. 

I wiped his thumbs across Tyler's cheeks, removing the few tears that fell, before placing my lips on his. 

Tyler sunk into the kiss, and wrapped his hands around my wrists. The wires connected to the IV drips prevented him from moving his hands around my neck. 

I leaned down even more, leaning Tyler back into the bed when I heard someone clear their throat. 

I pulled back immediately, looking over to see Zack smirking at us. 

Well this will be fun. 

My mouth opened into the shape on an 'o' before I coughed and leaned back, Tyler chuckling and leaning back himself so he was sitting up on the bed again. 

"I knew something was going on between you," Zack started, uncrossing his arms and moving closer, the smirk on his face softening into a smile as he looked at Tyler. "Hey Tyler how you feeling?" He slowly sat down beside Tyler, who scooted over for more room for Zack to sit. 

I walked back and moved my chair closer to Tyler's bed and sat down, holding Tyler's hand. 

"I'm feeling okay. Sort of sore and hungry but okay." Tyler admitted, chuckling and scratching his neck before linking his fingers through mine. 

Zack beamed a wide smile at the information. 

"Ok now talking about you two. This would explain why Josh was always here," Zack started, smirking at me before opening his mouth to say something more which, honestly, made me want to kill him. "And why he would cry so often and why I would her him moan your name at night sometimes." He smirked. 

My cheeks heated up and so I groaned and face planted the bed, hiding myself and cursing Zack. 

Tyler looked over at me with a questioning look on his face. 

"You were here the whole time?" He asked, a slight blush on his cheeks. 

"Uh- yea. I didn't leave the whole three months." I sighed, sending a glare at Zack who just smiled back at me with a innocent look on his face. 

"Three months?" Tyler shouted, his eyes wide and mouth slightly open in shock. 

Both zack and I nodded. 

"Wow." He sighed, sitting up and looking off in front of him as if he was deep in thought. 

"Melanie, Ashley, Dallon and Brendon came and visited a bit." I explained, watching his expression. 

"Can I see them when it's not three-thirty in the morning?" Tyler asked with a small chuckle. 

I smiled and looked down. "Yea. I will text them soon." 

I guess the way I was looking at Tyler sort of radiated love and gave it away because as I was staring, Zack looked over and smiled. 

"Josh im happy you're dating Tyler. He's much happier with you than anyone else. And I can see how much you love him." He stated, patting his hand on my shoulder. 

I looked over at Tyler again before speaking with a smile. 

"I'm happy I am too." To which Tyler smiled back at me, finally moving his gaze to look at me too. 

"Hey Josh, can I talk to you outside for a second?" Zack broke the silence. I nodded and stood with a smile, sending one last glance at Tyler before stepping out. 

Most people would be afraid when this happens. 

Not me. Not this time. 

I had spent so much time with Zack over the last three months that I was okay with it. We had shared many stories about each other and about Tyler over the three months that I felt like Zack was family. 

"I know you're not afraid and I'm not gonna turn this into a big lecture. We have spent heaps of time together over the last three months I feel like you're my own brother. I just want to tell you, because I have to be all brotherly cause it's customary as an older brother," Zack chuckled, folding his arms and looking down while shaking his head, to which I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms also, and chuckled back at him. "Take care if Tyler alright? You're an awesome guy Josh and I'm glad he met you. You guys jut click and I could literally feel the love in that room. It was almost suffocating. Just be careful with him." He smiled, patting me on the shoulder. 

"I'm happy to call you family and you're always welcome in our home anytime." He added, pulling me into a hug. 

I couldn't help it. All my emotions got the better of me and I started tearing up. 

Zack just smiled as we pulled away. 

It was an amazing feeling, being welcomed into a family. 

Especially with being a gay male, it's hard to be accepted or welcomed into homes, and being welcomed here has put so much pressure off me.

I just cried. 

"Thank you Zack." I smiled, before walking back into the hospital room, seeing Tyler asleep again. 

I walked over and kissed his forehead, deciding I was really tired also before sitting in my chair again. 

"Goodnight bean boy."


	20. The Pantaloon

A coma is scary. 

Especially when you have nothing but your thoughts to deal with. 

I hurt. 

A lot. 

Memories of my childhood flashed, memories of my schooling, my year at college so far and most importantly: Josh. 

It didn't help that I was able to hear everything. 

It did only sound like blurs, and only parts I heard, but I still understood. 

I could make out Josh's sobs, my parents talking, yelling at doctors and each other, and my friends calming Josh down from anxiety attacks. 

After what felt like an eternity, I woke up. 

It was painful. 

The blinding light, the desperate need in my lungs for air, the dry pain in my throat from not drinking, my pounding head, my many broken bones, everything flushed in me. 

It wasn't enough to scream, but it sure made me wish I died. 

I looked around once my eyes adjusted, my eyes finally landing on the hand gripping my own, which I somehow only now noticed. 

Probably because everything else was too much. 

I trailed my sight up to see Josh, tears dried and staining his face, puffy eyes, and messy hair. 

I smiled. 

It was cute. 

But it also pained me to see the tears and how skinny he was. 

He was like a twig, ready to break at any moment. 

He had hurt himself, all because of me. 

Josh looked up to meet eyes with me. 

He smiled. 

I smiled back. 

I was alive, and I was happy Josh was there too. 

I noticed Zack was there also. 

After a while, and Zack giving me some water, we spoke for a bit. 

Turns out three months is a long time for a coma. 

After Zack and Josh walked out for a moment, I noticed I was pretty tired. 

So I fell asleep. 

When I woke up, I noticed more people were there.

Aside from the few doctors who helped me take the breathing tube out of my nose and the various other things I no longer needed, I was free to talk to everyone. 

Dallon, Brendon, Ashley, Melanie and my family were there. 

Even Jenna, Sarah, Breezy, Frank and Gerard were there. 

We spoke about heaps. 

Caught up on the past few months, and heaps more than I would have imagined happened, happened. 

It got me thinking. 

Josh was an amazing guy. 

I couldn't have imagined a life without without him. 

I never knew how I ended up with an amazing guy. 

I thought, too much even, but this time it was good. 

I was okay with thinking. 

I'm okay. 

I promise. 

I thought about the future, and I knew exactly what I wanted, and when it was going to happen if I did it. 

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Josh. 

I wanted to marry the amazing boy with mocha eyes and faded purple hair. 

He was so loveable, and he was accepted right into my family which made my heart swell. 

Being around my friends and family after so long tired me out, and they eventually saw I was tired so they all left and promised they would see me tomorrow. 

All except Josh and Zack. 

The only two who had stayed the entire three months. 

Granted Zack had his girlfriend so he didn't stay over night as often, but Josh stayed every night. 

I felt guilty because of how malnourished he was. 

He hasn't looked after himself because he was worried about me. 

But I couldn't help but smile when I saw the two rings laying together on the table beside my bed. 

He got his gift after all. 

Just not the way I had hoped.


	21. Trees

The school year had ended faster than I had thought. 

Granted a large portion of the months was taken up by Tyler being in hospital. 

Everyone had become really close, moving out of college, some staying to continue courses, while the others found apartments or small houses with their partners. 

Dallon and Brendon grew closer together after an accident. 

Yea they are dating, but they got even closer. If that's possible. 

Brendon was traveling to meet his parents again and reconnect with them after a long 8 years. 

They never agreed with his life choices and never accepted his bisexuality. 

On his way to see them, he was involved in a crash, completely totalling the car, and ending with him on the edge of death. 

He was in a coma for a long time, but by a miracle he survived and woke up again, to which Dallon nearly died because he couldn't breathe. 

It was scary, seeing that happen again. Seeing Dallon go through what I went through but really close to  
home. 

He grew back closer with his parents again, too. 

They visited him in hospital and they agreed to keep in contact more and they apologised for all those years ago when they kicked him out because of his sexuality and deciding being Mormon wasn't for him, because music was his religion. 

Brendon ended up proposing, at graduation, in front of the whole school, on stage. 

Dallon cried. 

Like, really cried. 

It was beautiful. 

They bought a small little house further out in Vegas, Brendon's Home town, and decided to start a band together. Like, fully. 

Brendon sings, plays piano, drums, guitar- basically anything he touches he can play. 

Dallon plays the bass, and Kenny continued on with them on the guitar. Spencer decided he didn't want to continue playing drums for them. 

He was struggling with addictions and decided he needed to get his shit together for his wife and so they could start a family. 

Everyone was supporting him greatly. 

So as Spencer left, another good friend of theirs replaced him. Dan. He was a really nice guy. 

Both Brendon and Dallon write lyrics. They worked really well together. 

Ryan ended up reconnecting with Brendon again, with about of convincing, granted Brendon was never going to trust him much ever again. But Ryan was really talented with words so he helped them write some songs too. 

He actually helped with most of the songs. 

They are currently on tour to promote their new album, and first album, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out.

It's an amazing album and I can definitely see them getting big in life. 

Also the bands name is really unique. Panic! At The Disco. 

Melanie started talking to Ashley more, being helped by the fact that Tyler was in a coma also, and they grew pretty close too. 

I don't believe they are officially dating at this moment in time, but it's bound to happen soon.

We can all see it. 

They bought an apartment together, payment and financially easier for them, closer to town near a little bar where they perform every few nights. 

Melanie changed her hair again. Instead of the pink and black it's now white and black and has been cut just above shoulder length. 

Ashley, who goes by Halsey a lot, still has the blue hair but it's been cut similar to the style Brendon and Dallon have. 

They both look stunning, and people are noticing their talents more and more. And I mean they were really talented. It's hard to miss them. 

As for Tyler and I? We followed Mr. Armstrong's- er, actually, Billie's advice. 

We started a band. 

Twenty One Pilots. 

The name was inspired by a play, All My Sons written by Arthur Miller, where a man has to decide what's best for his family after being the cause for the death of twenty-one pilots. 

Tyler had studied this play in one of his literature classes. 

I had changed my hair from purple to red, to pink and now to its current yellow. 

Tyler stayed the same brown. But has had various styles with his hair. 

My favourite time was when Tyler shaved his head and we all teased him and called him an egg. 

Tyler and I released an album, self-titled Twenty One Pilots, and are currently playing small shows in little pubs, basements and clubs, but we were quickly growing an audience. 

We planned to release a new album, Vessel, after the release of an album called Regional At Best, and coming with this was a scheduled tour, traveling to almost every continent. 

I was pumped. And to see how many people actually were wanting to buy tickets for a show, it blew my mind. 

And it is here, on the last show of this Vessel era tour, behind the scenes waiting was all our friends, even some new ones known as the legendary Fall Out Boy, for the moment. 

And just saying on that, back in college having Tyler and I both listening to Fall Out Boy religiously and now being amazing friends with them, was just holy shit. 

It was here, on this final show of the tour, that everything finally fell into place. 

And it couldn't have gone any better. 

And it was with the moon ring on the chain wrapped around my neck that I gained the confidence to make the next move. 

And looking down at the polished black and red band in the small velvet box, that made all my worries melt away and I placed it back into my pocket.


	22. Epilogue

We return, 5 years later...

Tyler and I had everything we could dream of; an amazing home, so many amazing and successful friends, an amazing fan base of people all around the world who connect so much to the lyrics of the songs we write. 

It's both sad yet heartwarming. 

Sad because of how down our earlier songs lyrics were yet people could understand them. 

Heartwarming because people could understand and it made us realise we weren't alone. And that everyone else wasn't alone and our fanbase really cared and helped each other. 

We were like one giant family. 

And that's where our motto We are twenty One Pilots and so are you came from. 

We had a song written and featured in a movie, Heathens, to which the song blew up and so did the fan base. 

As cliche as it sounds, if you had told me when I started college that I would be famous in my own band, I would have probably died from having laughed so hard for so long. 

After that, we released a cover of a song, from a legendary band who broke up a few years after we started, yet still remain such great friends both with each other and us, My Chemical Romance, AKA Frank "banned from school" Iero, Gerard "God damnit Frank" Way, Mikey "awkward knees" Way and none other than Ray "princess fro" Toro 

The song we covered was called Cancer, and it was heartwarming to see how much the cover blew up, and how happy the boys were to see their legacy still going strong. 

Both the Cancer cover and Heathens helped us to gain status as the first band in a very long time to have four songs in the top ten at one time along with two other popular songs from our latest album Blurryface. 

Ride, Stressed Out, Heathens and the Cancer cover. 

We would never have imagined this. 

Oh, and did I mention? We have an amazing little daughter, Ruby, and a perfect marriage. 

We wouldn't have it any other way. 

Throwback to 5 years ago...

Tyler and I finished the final show on the vessel tour. 

It was amazing. 

The last show, and both of us had some big news, but for different reasons. 

"We are twenty one pilots, and so are you! Thank you for coming out tonight everyone, but before you go we have an announcement to make!" Tyler cheered through the microphone, the crowd erupting into more cheers. 

"So as you all know, this was our final show for this tour. But not our final show ever. We have been working on some new things, and we hope you stick around long enough to witness the release of our new album. Thank you everyone, and remember; stay alive. It's worth it!" He cheered once more, pulling me into a hug, both of us showing wide grins on our faces. 

Tyler and I held hands, raising them before bowing, not able to control our smiling or tears. 

Ok, maybe I was the only one crying. 

At least on stage that is. 

There were definitely tears in the crowd. 

Ok, I lied. Behind stage, we had all our college friends, and some others, Brendon, Dallon, Kenny, Dan, Sarah, Breezy, Jenna, Lindsey, Gerard, Frank, Ray, Mikey, even Spencer, were all there. 

And yea most of them cried too. 

In one last act of bravery after I looked over at the stage wing to see Zack, who nodded his head, I grabbed the mic from Tyler, before standing back up. 

It was now it never. 

"And I have one last thing to say before you all leave. I couldn't think of a better time to do this, and to make sure I didn't lose the most valuable part of this I gave it to Zack, so can I please grab that off you?" I asked while looking towards the stage wing, where Zack emerged and stood beside me. 

"Ok so Tyler," I started, motioning for all my friends to come and join me on stage, obviously most of our fans were also fans of theirs, especially the boys from MCR, so the crowd when crazy. "I want to say that these years we have spent together, the ups and downs, from the time we were in school and you were in a coma, all the concerts and places we traveled, to now. The final leg. I couldn't have thought of a better time to do this," I looked to Zack who handed me the small box, Tyler immediately threw his hands over his mouth, Frank being Frank and grabbing his shoulders while screaming and shaking him, causing the whole room to erupt into laughter. 

I slowly opened the box before bending down on one knee. "Tyler Joseph, will you done the honours, and agree to be my husband? Will you marry me?"  
Tyler couldn't handle it anymore and thankfully I was no longer the only one crying.

And to a shock, he bursted out laughing to which he took the mic from me, and started speaking. 

I stood up, confused, and seeing a couple of the guys smirking behind Tyler, I had an idea of what was happening. 

"So this is actually pretty funny and a coincidence, because," he paused to look over to Gerard who revealed a small box, almost identical to mine, and handed it to Tyler, causing the rest of us to laugh too. 

"I was going to ask you the same thing tonight!" At this statement, both Tyler and I, the crew, the rest of the friends on stage and the large audience start laughing. 

Pretty hard at that. 

I was crying even harder now. 

Once everyone on stage had calmed down, Tyler spoke again. 

"But yes. I will marry you, Joshua Dun." He smiled. 

I grinned, doing a small victory jump before crashing my lips onto Tyler's, to which he gladly returned the kiss. 

Never in a million years would I have imagined that we would have finished touring, joining our friends on their tours sometimes, and to have a gorgeous ten year-old daughter by the name of Ruby Lillian Joseph-Dun. 

Life couldn't be better, and I was happy I had the chance to adopt Ruby and take her out of the foster system, I was ecstatic. 

Life was turning up for me.


End file.
